Ravish Me This . . . Top 5 Reads Of The Week

Oh, good morrow dear Ravishers! We hope this Saturday finds you choc full of bacon and/or tofurky, basking in post-coital bliss, neck-deep in a new novel, sipping your third cup of coffee—or mimosa!—'cause you don't have anywhere to be, combing through the finest of thrift shops, arm-wrestling, bird-watching, or giving your mom a call.

Basically? We hope you're doing something that makes you happy. If you've been on the prowl for some fantastic feminist/mind-gear fodder, have we got the week for you! Round out your weekend with us. It's nice—if messy—over here. Tinder has proven to be a cruel and unusual mistress to us 30-somethings, Call-out Culture got called the hell out, and we got a first-hand peek at what it's like to write closed captioning for porn. MmmMmmmMm. Ohhhhh yeaaaaah.

We think you'll dig it.

How Leonard Nimoy's Death Revealed Facebook's Draconian Community Standards (Again)

Contributing writer Audra Williams reveals that Leonard Nimoy wasn't just Spock, he was a photographer dedicated to championing body positivity. And Facebook has banned his images.

Choice quote: "I don’t know if one of my friends flagged it. I'd like to think probably not, but I fully cop to often being disappointed by people who have wandered into my network. Strangely, some people who shared the link from my posting still have the content on their timelines, but with their friends commenting that they are unable to click 'share' from the post.

I am just so exhausted by this. How effective can “community standards” be when a post that implies an Asian baby is going to eat her puppy is determined to be fine, but a Halifax artist offering free nipple tattoos (post-mastectomy or for trans folks) is banned? How did we end up here?"


Just Because I Want To Lose Weight Doesn't Mean I'm A Bad Feminist

Contributing writer Little Bear Schwarz scewered the notion that one can't riot and diet at the same time.

Choice quote: "Recently I chatted with a fellow feminist. Like me, she was an advocate of body autonomy, body positivity, and radical self-love. And because these things claim to support and defend bodies of all shapes, sizes, and transitions, I thought the conversation would be a safe space to mention my quest to (safely and slowly) lose a little weight to help boost my energy and self-esteem.

Not so much. In response, I was fed 'riots not diets' and 'lose hate not weight' bumper sticker philosophy topped off with a real kicker: 'I just don’t believe women when they say that want to lose weight for themselves. I can’t believe that it has nothing to do with patriarchal and societal standards.

But at its core, body-autonomy—and feminism itself—is about giving women the benefit of the doubt that they can make up their own minds, form their own opinions, and do what they instinctually feel is best for their bodies. By robbing them of that agency and assuming that their actions are formed by the desires of men, we undermine them as a whole. Therefore, the idea that a woman can't lose weight without it being about patriarchal standards? That in itself is an intensely patriarchal line of thinking."

Depression Stole My Ability To Imagine A Different Tomorrow

Contributor Anne Thériault describes her harrowing experience with chronic depression, trying everything from a sensible wardrobe to weekly therapy to try and envision a future that doesn't resemble a dystopia. 

Choice quote: "Of all the things depression has taken from me—and just to be clear, depression's thievery has been wide and vast—the loss of my ability to think about the future has been one of the hardest to bear.

It's not that the future stops being there, exactly; it's that it become swiftly and horribly blank. It goes from being a colorful and richly varied set of expectations to a world straight up ripped from the plot of some dystopian novel. And not even the good kind of dystopia where chaste teens give each each other long, meaningful looks that last for pages; I mean the bleak, deeply unsexy kind of dystopia. The type where every day you walk down this long institutional-looking hallway, all flickering fluorescent lights and scuffed linoleum flooring."

Why I Disagree With Everything In National Review's "Jailhouse Feminism"

Co-editor Katie Tandy writes a not-so-civilized response to Mary Eberstadt's recent anti-feminism rant in National Review in which Eberstadt calls self-proclaimed feminists delusional, self-harming, thuggish, and pornographic.

Choice quote: "The whole point of this entire 'fourth wave feminism' is to fundamentally redefine what female even means. And if women want to scream, rant, swear, and talk sex like sailors, then great. Don't infantilize them by pretending you understand "what's actually going on," i.e. we've all succumbed to some reductive bullshit of "sex sells." Don't condescend with faux pity at our inability to speak in any other language than that of "bondage and captivity." Because it's bullshit.

My feminism—while angry—is perhaps not AS angry as other woman's; it's not as naked either. Then again, my feminism is certainly rawer than many of my friends (they would not write explicitly about their sexual exploits, for example), but we don't judge one another. If Rihanna wants to gyrate in a a denim thong and act like a stripper, fine. If Miley wants to lick hammers and Marina Abramovic wants to have her clothing snipped off by strangers with scissors and Roxane Gay says, 'It’s hard to be told to lighten up because if you lighten up any more, you’re going to float the fuck away . . .' I say yes."

I Had Sex In Your Airbnb And I'm Not Sorry—At All

Staff writer Jetta DoubleCakes takes on the double-edged sword of the sharing economy and why she has no problem—at all—scream-sexing in your basement . . . right beneath you.

Choice quote: "Airbnb required I provide government ID and my Facebook account; you had a very intimate idea of who I was and what you might/not like about me. I’m gladsome and grateful that you didn’t find my name “too white trash” (per an ex-girlfriend) or my gender identity “too distracting” (per an ex-employer)—but what if you had?

Ignoring, briefly, that screening people effectively requires anyone part of a maligned community/identity to lie to you (out of habit, out of fear for their safety), you and your fellow purveyors want to participate, want tocompete, with the hotel industry but don’t want to be held to the same standards."

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