Here’s Why I’ll Never Be A Phone Person (But I Still Love You)

Loud buzzes from your phone can translate to zero clear thinking.

Loud buzzes from your phone can translate to zero clear thinking.

You know who you are.

You’re the type who “forgot” to set up voicemail when you got a new phone. People try to call you, and you text back. You’re introverted, and you’re still trying to figure out how to successfully navigate this world because of it.

It’s not that you don’t love the people calling you (unless you’re solely receiving spam calls), it’s just that you’d rather be with them. You think that the phone can’t replace seeing their faces, experiencing their presence in all the dimensions currently available to humans. And sometimes (okay, a lot of the time) you just need time to recharge by yourself. Why does that feel so wrong sometimes?

Below are some reasons why you or someone you know may not be in love with the telephone. Extroverts, try to wrap your minds around this for a second. We’ll throw a dance party for you when we’re done as a reward.

You’re either with other people trying to be present with them, or you’re recovering from social interaction.

When the phone rings, it’s disrupting one of these two situations, which can be okay but may take some mental and physical adjustments. There’s a battle between giving your attention to the people in front of you (even if it’s you alone) or the one ringing you. Sometimes asking when we’re available first is the best way to reach us.

Suddenly you feel very much on-the-spot.

Loud buzzes from your phone can translate to zero clear thinking. If you answer, you are probably saying whatever pops into your head, or you're completely silent. Either way, it’s not completely ideal. Plus, you have a hard time saying no, so if someone is calling with a request, even something you’d love to be a part of, you’ll probably feel backed into a corner.

If you’re a worst-case-scenario kind of person, that buzzing will also make you panic.

A loved one is most certainly in the hospital. The thing that you’ve been dreading at work has happened. Your kid is in trouble at school. Something horrific has occurred, and if you ignore the call, it’s like the atrocity doesn’t exist, if just for a minute. Because sometimes you really are that crazy.

Whether you avoid a call or legitimately can’t answer, you pack on a weighty guilt for the rest of the day until you address it.

This can be rather distracting. You’re worried the caller thinks you’re avoiding her when you’re just avoiding a very stilted form of communication. Which leads me to…

You want to give your full attention to the person.

The phone doesn’t actually occupy enough of your senses to accomplish that. Your mind ends up going in a million directions at once to fill up the neglected senses, totally cheating the person trying to connect with you. Or, often you feel like to give the person the attention he deserves, especially if it’s someone you haven’t talked to in a while, you need to make it a two-hour long conversation.

For people who like being productive, it can seem like a total time suck.

You’d rather meet that friend for dinner, finally sit down to read that book, tackle your to-do list, do pretty much anything other than hold a hunk of glass to your ear. If the message is quick and fun, texting or emailing seem like more than sufficient methods. Emojis have made a significant dent in that whole inability to read the tone of voice in messages thing.

If you are a phone person, don’t fret. You’re not always causing us a dramatic amount of emotional distress when you dial us. These were just some reasons why we’re not as ecstatic about chatting over the line as you are. It’s preference, and we’re just a little worn down with feeling strange for not liking it. In reality, there’s a sizeable group of us out there. Just know that we think FaceTime does not always count as face time, and we’ll all be okay.

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