Kermit And Miss Piggy Call It Quits And Ruin Our Childhoods

This is worse than Bennifer

As of August 4, 2015, Kermit and Miss Piggy have called it quitsThe couple had been together since 1978.

"After careful thought, thoughtful consideration and considerable squabbling, Kermit the Frog and moi have made the difficult decision to terminate our romantic relationship," Miss Piggy posted onto her Facebook page. "We will continue to work together on television (“The Muppets”/Tuesdays 8pm this fall on ABC) and in all media now known or hereafter devised, in perpetuity, throughout the universe."

Nice plug, Miss Piggy.

“However, our personal lives are now distinct and separate, and we will be seeing other people, pigs, frogs, et al.,” Miss Piggy continued. “This is our only comment on this private matter… unless we get the right offer. Thank you for your understanding." 

Kermit later made his own comments, revealing that the breakup wasn’t very mutual at all.

"After careful thought, thoughtful consideration and considerable squabbling, Miss Piggy made the difficult decision to terminate our romantic relationship," Kermit wrote on his Facebook page. “This is our only comment on this private matter. Thank you for your understanding.”

We don't understand at all, Kermit. We don't understand this breakup, and we don't understand why we are so emotionally invested in the love lives of felt puppets. But such is life, and such are conveniently-timed media stunts used to promote an upcoming network television premiere.

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