Kate Ryan

Everywhere you look these days (on Instagram), beautiful pictures abound. From teacups overflowing with succulents to smoothie bowls arranged as art. All while a lavender-haired model casually eats ice cream in front of a stupidly gorgeous Tahitian sunset. All this endless beauty has become a bit dull.

He died a violent death. I saw him myself, flopping between wooden blades, his head bent back strangely.

We’ve all been there. Your boyfriend has a raging boner, but you’re just not in the mood to do anything with it. But how do you tell him to tone that boner down and quick? No need to worry. Here are ten simple, foolproof ways to kill that boner in ten seconds—or less—while keeping your man’s ego rock-hard.

She closed in on the open pores enlarged ten times their normal size by a high magnification pocket mirror.

I would send some chocolates, but I’m not allowed anymore since they found the shiv in the birthday cake I sent you.

12:48 AM. Why would someone schedule an exorcism for the middle of a weeknight?

At Monster High, Jimmy Werewolf gets another demerit for forgetting to shave again.

My tights are cutting me in half at the waist . . . just like a sausage in its casing.

Okay, so maybe she didn’t really understand feminism.

Eva, having stayed up the whole night preoccupied with death and time, planned to call in sick.