I remember the body I envisioned for myself: “Strong-looking” (not strong), “toned” (not bulky), “healthy” (trim). Image: Thinkstock.

How Trying To Take Up Less Space Landed Me In Physical Therapy

I don’t remember when I started holding in my stomach. [...] It’s hard to trace a habit so ingrained that I don’t know it exists. Until I’m lying on a table and her hand rests at my solar plexus and she tells me to let go. I can’t. I don’t know how, or not yet.