divorce

When I was in third grade, my parents got divorced. My mom went back to school full-time in the hopes of beginning a new career that would support us. Oddly, this was one of the richest years of my life; my world split and shifted on its axis, and yet somehow didn’t knock me over — thanks to a SHEro (or two).

When I was in third grade, my parents got divorced. My mom went back to school full-time in the hopes of beginning a new career that would support us. Oddly, this was one of the richest years of my life; my world split and shifted on its axis, and yet somehow didn’t knock me over — thanks to a SHEro (or two).

My Life Partner and I are both divorced and know firsthand what a “relationship failure” looks and feels like. And, we both chose to end our respective previous marriages for that very reason. After being together for over three years our emotional, physical and spiritual intimacy continues to grow tremendously. This has resulted in a sense of continuing fulfillment beyond anything either of us have previously experienced. Yet, we are not likely to ever get married or say those tear-inducing vows.

As I said my goodbyes to my parents, I pleaded with them to help me leave him. "Please, you've seen what is going on," I said to them. "You've seen him. I can't live like this anymore. I can't do this any longer. Please help me." My mother gave me a hug, kissed my kids, and wished me well in working things out. "Just try a little harder. It takes effort to learn how to be a good wife and you've always been a little difficult," she said before closing my car door.

That giddy feeling you felt during the infancy of the relationship goes away. It can be replaced by either a deep bond, or apathy.

In a recent attempt at brutal self-examination, I opened my Apple Music account to see how many artists were recommended to me by men I’ve dated or slept with. There were well over 60, (making up the majority of what I listen to regularly).

During the darkest moments after my split with my husband and then divorce, when I thought life would never get better, and I kicked myself for thinking I could be on my own, it was music that got me through.

You might not know the truth even as you’re living it. Each day passes into the next and you remain oblivious, always living and trying your hardest with the kernel of fear in your heart. Maybe you’ve gotten used to ignoring it, this dread as it picks at you, boring into you.