So, like, am I a fan now, everyone? Image: Thinkstock.

A Grown-A** Woman Reads Harry Potter: Drunk Hogwarts History Edition

The neighbors turned their lights off. My dog fell sound asleep. I kept reading. And at 1:03 am, I finished. All was well.

These books have made me so suspicious. Image: Warner Brothers.

22 Thoughts I Had While Reading The First 250 Pages Of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

FINALLY someone acknowledges professional boundaries at Hogwarts.

Image courtesy of Pumpkin the Raccoon. Thanks for the spoiler, Pumpkin. >:(

A Grown-A** Woman Reads Harry Potter: Everyone You Love Will Eventually Die

Forget a cute story of wizard wonderment — the real moral of Harry Potter is that life is an endless parade of pain and turmoil where you have to watch everyone you’ve ever loved die.

I am worried, though, that my memory has been so spotty and, thus, my attention is starting to wane for the first time. Maybe I really am too old for this.

A Grown-A** Woman Reads Harry Potter: Love In The Time Of Voldemort

The further I get into this series, the harder time I am having remembering what the eff has happened so far. You see, I am an Old Lady.

This was actually not that tasty.

A Grown-A** Woman Reads Harry Potter: I Get Things Now!

I can boo at Snape because I GET THINGS NOW.

MS Paint magic.

A Grown-A** Woman Reads Harry Potter: Death, Dementors, And Other Fun Things

All I want for Christmas is a Molly Weasley sweater.

This never would have happened to the Monster Book Of Monsters.

A Grown-A** Woman Reads Harry Potter: Gettin' Eerie In October

Here is my current problem: THE WORLD IS FULL OF SPOILERS.

My dog is less than impressed.

A Grown-A** Woman Reads Harry Potter For The First Time: Mirrors, Malfoys, Unexpected Feels

I got all the way to page 209 before crying for the first time.