having it all

This article first appeared on Fairygodboss and has been republished with permission.

After 17 years as a working mom, I see my biggest job as bringing up my two sons and making them responsible, ethical adults who contribute to the future of the world.

On a day-to-day basis, though, this mostly involves cooking for them, driving them around, cleaning up after them and always remembering how much I love them. I’m fortunate to have a great partner in crime in my husband, and he helps create an environment of gender neutrality at home; daddy cooking doesn’t signify a “special occasion,” for instance. Add to this an employer that empowers you, as well as management that values your contributions, and what you have is a team of indispensable allies for working moms like me who want to keep their sanity.

I got married young and had my first child young.

Parenting is not easy. It’s really hard — even more so for single parents. I can only guess that parents are frustrated with being parents. I imagine it’s frustrating to watch people like me take a 2-hour nap whenever they want, when all you want is five minutes to go to the bathroom alone.

In less than two years, I went from the fast-paced life of having a full-time job, while attending graduate school and going out with my friends at night, to being married and a full-time stay-at-home mother. My life took a sudden 180-degree turn, and at times felt like it was standing still.

l long prided myself on being a "strong, independent, beautiful, staunch feminist." But then I found out I was pregnant—and everything changed.