Eliana Osborn

Eliana Osborn

Bio

Eliana Osborn is a writer and part-time English professor living with her family in Arizona. She spends too much time in the sun and will someday publish her novel in progress.

Eliana Osborn Articles

We all need people who believe in us.

Loving Is Hard

How do you love someone who continually does things to hurt himself? I’ve been holding a phone with my stoned, sobbing brother on the other end for nearly 20 years. I keep picking up the pieces, keep having my heart break, because he’s my brother.

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I want to make the kids turn off their screens as I would in regular life back on the ground, but it seems like this is not the time to stick to rules or try for a parenting victory.

Screen Time Got My Family Through An 18-Hour Flight. I Regret Nothing.

Eighteen hours, even if prepared with reading and art material, snacks, and an upgrade to China Airline’s family couch seating, is still EIGHTEEN HOURS.

Best case scenario? A few hours of activity, then we all fall asleep comfortably. Worst case? Well, let's just say it involves blood splatter on those weird double-paned airplane window.

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Enjoy the silence... And sleeping on the couch.

My Husband Bought Noise-Canceling Headphones...And I Have Feelings About It

I always have a small piece of my brain on mom mode, no matter what else is happening. I have no problem with this, since that is how humanity has survived.

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Kirk 4ever

Kirk Cameron Was My First

Kirk Cameron in all his Growing Pains glory was the ideal crush. Unthreatening, goofy, good kid with very reasonable weekly conflicts. And a good smile. Always been a sucker for that.

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I try to contain my fears, my own insecurities. I want them to shine, even as I’m terrified watching them climb and jump and dream.

When My Kids Go Onstage, I'm More Frightened Than They Are

I’m full of emotions: pride, awe, fear, nerves. The spelling bee first, then the piano recital. Two different kids, same mom. Same me, wanting to prevent my boys from pain and discomfort. Same me, biting my tongue and smiling broadly in support.

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Might as well face it, you're addicted to...long hair.

I Cut My Hair And Never Looked Back

A haircut is a whole lot cheaper than therapy or tattoos or a round-the-world plane ticket.

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The Bromance. AKA being a human being with close friendships.

Breaking News: Science Proves Bromances Are Crucial To Men's Happiness

You may have heard the term "bromance" and tried to wash your ears out with bleach (bad idea). Sadly, scientist types heard the word too.

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If he were an asshole to my kids, things would be easier. But he’s not. Image: Thinkstock.

When Your Children's Grandpa Is A Jerk, How Do You Keep Your Cool?

If he were an a--hole to my kids, things would be easier. But he’s not. He’s good with them. He’s his best self. It makes me alternately happy and heartbroken.

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Perhaps not this dramatic. Image: <a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Elizabeth_Taylor_in_Cleopatra#/media/File:1963_Cleopatra_trailer_screenshot_(11).jpg">Wikimedia</a>

Dear World: Should I Get Permanent Eyeliner?

I look tired when I stay up too late. I also look tired if I get eight hours of sleep.

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