Eliana Osborn

...But not in the way you'd think.

"Sharknado 3" has an especially unique moment when a human baby is born by being cut out of the side of a shark. Don’t ask questions, there’s nothing to explain.

1. Borrow a child.

A haircut is a whole lot cheaper than therapy or tattoos or a round-the-world plane ticket.

It is hard to find any real numbers about how many people do "direct sales" or how much money they make. The web is full of either big promises or pissed-off former sellers. What I do know, from bazillions of friends and family, is that making much more than pocket money means selling like a real job. Yes, it might be more flexible, but there’s no magic formula.

Sometimes the nicest kids turn into whole new people when they come over to your house.

For you, dear readers, who are thrilled with the teacher in your life — be it your own teacher, the instructor of your child, or even the person who does piano or karate — this list is for you.

Don’t listen to horror stories about airplane tantrums. Listen to me while I let you in on the secret perks of seeing the world with kiddos.

I am going to have amazing posture. My neck will look so skinny just from the way I hold my head.

I, like far too many women in this country and the world, have had a wide variety of experiences involving sexual harassment.