Eliana Osborn

When did I discover that sterilization isn’t as cut and dry as it seems? While sitting in a hospital gown, signing my life away, awaiting surgery.

Look, Connect Four is not a good game. But it can be over quickly, which is pretty great.

Sometimes the nicest kids turn into whole new people when they come over to your house.

Your partner will make you want to throw up at some point. Pure, unadulterated disgust.

I’m not broken by this therapy failure. Jane wasn't the person to help me at this point of my life. Someone else WILL be.

They were horrible.

1. Borrow a child.

Help.

Self-care is important. Massages are a good form of self-care. Too bad I keep thinking about what I'm going to make for dinner.

I’ve developed a fast and furious passion for the new Daily Show host, Trevor Noah.