Eliana Osborn

Eliana Osborn

Bio

Eliana Osborn is a writer and part-time English professor living with her family in Arizona. She spends too much time in the sun and will someday publish her novel in progress.

Eliana Osborn Articles

"There's nothing strange nor mysterious about menstruation." Preach, Disney.

Annie Ruined Everything: The Best/Worst Menstruation Films Of Yesteryear

In this film, we got to walk backstage with the young Broadway actress currently playing Annie. She explained the rules for taking on the role: Once a girl started her period, she couldn’t be Annie.

Read...
"I can't wait for Eliana's turn."

What 50/50 Parenting Looks Like At My House

We take weekend turns. He does vacations and summers. Literally. He takes them away. It is great.

Read...
Oh Paige, you just get me...

The People I Fell In Love With While Pregnant

Ray Nagin. Yes, the former New Orleans mayor who now has a criminal record. Let me explain.

Read...
When I left sobbing it wasn’t from a breakthrough — it was out of annoyance and hopelessness. Image: Thinkstock.

The Endless Search For The Right Therapist

I’m not broken by this therapy failure. Jane wasn't the person to help me at this point of my life. Someone else WILL be.

Read...
I try to contain my fears, my own insecurities. I want them to shine, even as I’m terrified watching them climb and jump and dream.

When My Kids Go Onstage, I'm More Frightened Than They Are

I’m full of emotions: pride, awe, fear, nerves. The spelling bee first, then the piano recital. Two different kids, same mom. Same me, wanting to prevent my boys from pain and discomfort. Same me, biting my tongue and smiling broadly in support.

Read...
Did you shower today? You've already started on one.

Here Are Some Realistic New Year's Resolutions

I wanted to write a book last summer. Then I realized what a terrible goal that was and modified accordingly.

Read...
Full-fat dairy MAY be “healthier” for you than low-fat dairy.  “May” be, as in, probably is, like with numbers and science and stuff. Image: Thinkstock.

Skim Milk Might Kill You

Full-fat dairy may be “healthier” for you than low-fat dairy. “May” be, as in, probably is, like with numbers and science and stuff.

Read...
"Hatch baby"? Image: Thinkstock.

Just Say No To Baby Tech

I get how we want to make our kids successful and everything, right from the start. Feeding into the pressure, here’s the tagline from Starling’s company: “The world’s first word-tracking system that can improve your child’s trajectory for life.”

Read...
Word on the street is that a home-based business is started every 12 seconds. I’m thinking that means a lot of people are trying to sell a lot of crap.

Home-Based Businesses: Self-Help Or Scam?

It is hard to find any real numbers about how many people do "direct sales" or how much money they make. The web is full of either big promises or pissed-off former sellers. What I do know, from bazillions of friends and family, is that making much more than pocket money means selling like a real job. Yes, it might be more flexible, but there’s no magic formula.

Read...
I’m proud of you right now, even with all the sadness. Image: Thinkstock.

A Letter To A Mom Friend Heading To Rehab

I’m proud of you right now, even with all the sadness. Proud of you for heading to rehab, leaving the kids, the man, the house — all of it — to get on top of things. Doing it instead of just thinking about it, talking about it even, hemming and hawing? That’s pretty badass.

Read...