Eliana Osborn

There are some days of parenting that are magical, full of unicorns and four leaf clovers and lottery winnings. Those are the moments when I catch myself, just for a second, feeling content and happy and looking around trying to freeze things. Out of 7000 days, those maybe make up five a year.

My sister Liz is full of wisdom, like my favorite quote I’ve shared with practically everyone I know: “Every pair of underwear has two good sides.”

The most important things my mother taught me included work from Neil Diamond, Billy Joel, Wham! and Whitney Houston.

...But not in the way you'd think.

I am going to have amazing posture. My neck will look so skinny just from the way I hold my head.

A haircut is a whole lot cheaper than therapy or tattoos or a round-the-world plane ticket.

If he were an a--hole to my kids, things would be easier. But he’s not. He’s good with them. He’s his best self. It makes me alternately happy and heartbroken.

Standardized tests are taking over the world. I can say this because it is true. Like a creeping vine that seems attractive and charming at first, tests appear to be reasonable for the data and direction they can provide.

Sick of hearing about your friend's perfect pregnancy?Give one of these amazing gifts at the baby shower and you shouldn’t have to worry about this anymore.

I’m not there yet. But I need to be honest—I’m closer to 40 than any other multiple of five.