Eliana Osborn

Really, you should thank me. I’m just protecting your future self.

I’ve developed a fast and furious passion for the new Daily Show host, Trevor Noah.

A haircut is a whole lot cheaper than therapy or tattoos or a round-the-world plane ticket.

I am going to have amazing posture. My neck will look so skinny just from the way I hold my head.

When did I discover that sterilization isn’t as cut and dry as it seems? While sitting in a hospital gown, signing my life away, awaiting surgery.

Self-care is important. Massages are a good form of self-care. Too bad I keep thinking about what I'm going to make for dinner.

What’s That Smell? Sniffing Out Weird House Odors

You know how someone can give you a compliment that you know isn’t true? Like, they tell you a dress looks good when you are absolutely certain that is not the case? But if they keep saying it looks good, you start to think “Yeah... this looks good.”

After this, I’m not going to be able to complain about Meghan Trainor and having to teach my son that "All About That Bass" is talking about girls with big booties.

We take weekend turns. He does vacations and summers. Literally. He takes them away. It is great.