Eliana Osborn

I’ve developed a fast and furious passion for the new Daily Show host, Trevor Noah.

They were horrible.

We take weekend turns. He does vacations and summers. Literally. He takes them away. It is great.

Sometimes the nicest kids turn into whole new people when they come over to your house.

Help.

After years in apartments that should have been condemned, even these sad restroom facilities were vast improvements. And so we stayed, the husband and I, vaguely embarrassed when guests stayed over and commented on the bordello vibe of the bathroom.

Then we had a kid. No working bathtub suddenly seemed like a big deal. And the functional bathroom spaces weren’t places you’d want to hang out. There’s a lot of bathroom time once you’ve got tiny humans. (You’ve been warned.)

Kirk Cameron in all his Growing Pains glory was the ideal crush. Unthreatening, goofy, good kid with very reasonable weekly conflicts. And a good smile. Always been a sucker for that.

I’m a sucker for an interesting woman, so Notorious RBG is obviously my sort of book.

I am going to have amazing posture. My neck will look so skinny just from the way I hold my head.

1. Write a damn letter.