Eliana Osborn

Eliana Osborn

Bio

Eliana Osborn is a writer and part-time English professor living with her family in Arizona. She spends too much time in the sun and will someday publish her novel in progress.

Eliana Osborn Articles

The author and her sister.

The Strange, Strong Bond of Sisterhood

My sister Liz is full of wisdom, like my favorite quote I’ve shared with practically everyone I know: “Every pair of underwear has two good sides.”

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Anyone can do amazing work when one room takes 36 months. I suspect the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel was painted in less time.

Remodeling Your Bathroom (And Your Relationship)

After years in apartments that should have been condemned, even these sad restroom facilities were vast improvements. And so we stayed, the husband and I, vaguely embarrassed when guests stayed over and commented on the bordello vibe of the bathroom.

Then we had a kid. No working bathtub suddenly seemed like a big deal. And the functional bathroom spaces weren’t places you’d want to hang out. There’s a lot of bathroom time once you’ve got tiny humans. (You’ve been warned.)

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I need an updated mental picture.

Lost Love: When You Can't Find Your Ex On The Internet

I’m not alone in being troubled by how people suddenly disappear in life, right? That’s essentially why the internet was created. You may have heard rumors about Al Gore inventing it for military purposes... Lies!

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Did you shower today? You've already started on one.

Here Are Some Realistic New Year's Resolutions

I wanted to write a book last summer. Then I realized what a terrible goal that was and modified accordingly.

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Full-fat dairy MAY be “healthier” for you than low-fat dairy.  “May” be, as in, probably is, like with numbers and science and stuff. Image: Thinkstock.

Skim Milk Might Kill You

Full-fat dairy may be “healthier” for you than low-fat dairy. “May” be, as in, probably is, like with numbers and science and stuff.

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The next step, obviously. Image: <a href="http://www.lifespanfitness.com/tr800-dt5-treadmill-desk">LifeSpan Fitness</a>

A Day In The Life At My Standing Desk

I am going to have amazing posture. My neck will look so skinny just from the way I hold my head.

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"Thanks, but a gift card would have been better."

Gifts That Teachers Will Actually Want

For you, dear readers, who are thrilled with the teacher in your life — be it your own teacher, the instructor of your child, or even the person who does piano or karate — this list is for you.

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"I can't wait for Eliana's turn."

What 50/50 Parenting Looks Like At My House

We take weekend turns. He does vacations and summers. Literally. He takes them away. It is great.

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The easiest pets of all.

How To Choose The Right Pet For Your Particular Level Of Laziness

If you kill a tortoise, even on accident, you probably shouldn’t have children.

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The Bromance. AKA being a human being with close friendships.

Breaking News: Science Proves Bromances Are Crucial To Men's Happiness

You may have heard the term "bromance" and tried to wash your ears out with bleach (bad idea). Sadly, scientist types heard the word too.

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