Eliana Osborn

A haircut is a whole lot cheaper than therapy or tattoos or a round-the-world plane ticket.

Size, like age and salary and whatever else, is just a number. Pretending numbers don’t measure things isn’t helpful. I’m 38 years old: That isn’t good or bad, but it IS different from being 18 or 50.

My husband is worried about stigma, about Owen feeling different, about epilepsy being part of his identity. Those are sweet concerns, really. And I get it — I love the kid too. I’d never want to make his life harder in any way.

After this, I’m not going to be able to complain about Meghan Trainor and having to teach my son that "All About That Bass" is talking about girls with big booties.

I wanted to write a book last summer. Then I realized what a terrible goal that was and modified accordingly.

There are some days of parenting that are magical, full of unicorns and four leaf clovers and lottery winnings. Those are the moments when I catch myself, just for a second, feeling content and happy and looking around trying to freeze things. Out of 7000 days, those maybe make up five a year.

We take weekend turns. He does vacations and summers. Literally. He takes them away. It is great.

They were horrible.

I’ve developed a fast and furious passion for the new Daily Show host, Trevor Noah.

I look tired when I stay up too late. I also look tired if I get eight hours of sleep.