Eliana Osborn

Eighteen hours, even if prepared with reading and art material, snacks, and an upgrade to China Airline’s family couch seating, is still EIGHTEEN HOURS.

Best case scenario? A few hours of activity, then we all fall asleep comfortably. Worst case? Well, let's just say it involves blood splatter on those weird double-paned airplane window.

Is anyone else with me on this? White foods are NASTY.

What’s That Smell? Sniffing Out Weird House Odors

Look, Connect Four is not a good game. But it can be over quickly, which is pretty great.

I look tired when I stay up too late. I also look tired if I get eight hours of sleep.

I’m proud of you right now, even with all the sadness. Proud of you for heading to rehab, leaving the kids, the man, the house — all of it — to get on top of things. Doing it instead of just thinking about it, talking about it even, hemming and hawing? That’s pretty badass.

We take weekend turns. He does vacations and summers. Literally. He takes them away. It is great.

Don’t listen to horror stories about airplane tantrums. Listen to me while I let you in on the secret perks of seeing the world with kiddos.

"Sharknado 3" has an especially unique moment when a human baby is born by being cut out of the side of a shark. Don’t ask questions, there’s nothing to explain.

Sometimes the nicest kids turn into whole new people when they come over to your house.