Jennifer Fliss

Jennifer Fliss

Bio

Jennifer Fliss is a New York raised, Wisconsin schooled, Seattle based writer. Her writing has appeared or is forthcoming in diverse publications including, Ravishly, The Establishment, Brain Child Magazine, Zelle/Runner’s World, and The Citron Review. More can be found on her website, www.jenniferflisscreative.com

Jennifer Fliss Articles

To my bullies.

A Letter To My Bullies

You held a cap gun to my head on the bus ride home from school, threatening to shoot me, day after day. I know you couldn't have known that I had something similar happening at home.

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Just add socks and fire. Boom: hygge.

How To Appropriate Hygge In 13 Easy Steps

Invite friends over. They should be attractive, but don’t have to be.

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You wanted to right a wrong. Or, wrong a right. Or something like that.

An Open Letter To People Who Write Open Letters

I don’t think you meant well. You wanted to vomit your discontent to the world. Isn’t that embarrassing? Or is it like a seven-cocktails-and-two-shots kind of vomit?

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"Tirimisu for Two: I would never just have my nails painted for my own pleasure and enjoyment. I’ve done this for you. For us. It’s all about snagging a partner." Image: Thinkstock

Weirdly Sexist Nail Polish Names, From The Eyeroll-Worthy To The Utterly Absurd

Chick Flick Cherry: If it’s about romance, it’s a chick flick. About love: chick flick. Maybe it’s about chickens. Poultry love. Either way: for you, I’ll watch it. So you can pop my cherry afterwards. My nail polish is just asking for it.

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It took me over 10 years to make these stories, MY stories, public. Image: Thinkstock.

I Was Abused As A Child — Now I'm Writing My Own Story

Here’s the thing: I have benefited greatly from reading stories from others, the daring narratives of those who have histories similar to my own. We feel more human when we hear that other humans relate to an experience we maybe thought was our very own private hell.

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Duhhh-daaaahhh-duh-duh-duh-DAAAAH-duuuh...

Star Wars Takes A Wife

On a dark rainy night, when our toddler was asleep, he set up Star Wars: A New Hope — who knew that was what it was called? — on the laptop. I, with a skeptical brow, cozy blanket, and my phone (in case boredom struck)...

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Make sure your tiny person doesn’t drown, or run, or get doused by the ginormous bucket that drops six tons of water every three minutes. This is where waterboarding came from. Effective. Torturous.

So, You Want To Take Your Kids To An Indoor Water Park Resort?

Nothing says "I’m patriotic" quite like going to a wolf-themed indoor water park resort wearing your wolf-themed t-shirt. With your floaties on. And a beer in your hand.

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AMAZEBALLS.

2015 Vernacular That Needs To Go. Now. 

All the feels. If you take this out of context (and it’s never really in context), it sounds vaguely pornographic. No, not vaguely. It does sound pornographic. So a kitty and bunny befriending each other should not evoke “all the feels.” Otherwise please step away. Slowly...slowly...now go.

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Christmas ornaments: a history.

Your Life, As Defined By Your Christmas Ornaments

A photo of your long-dead cat, Milo, in a brass Easter egg-shaped frame. Oh, sweet animal, I miss your furballs, you think when you hang it on a low branch. Milo had an uncanny ability to hork on laps when unwanted visitors overstayed their welcome.

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