Jody Allard

I

While St. Onge is best known for writing for funny folks like Letterman and Rosie, her FB post this morning about weight and weight loss was as authentic as it gets.

The pair has pledged to donate 99 percent of their Facebook shares over the course of their lifetime, which currently amount to about $45 billion. You know, just some pocket change.

When I first heard about the mass shooting in San Bernadino, I wanted to write something meaningful and thought-provoking.

Before you run to the bathroom to puke out your human DNA containing hot dog while sobbing over delicious bacon, let me clear up a few misconceptions.

As you might imagine, assuming that men and women are exactly the same hasn't worked out too well.

In 1997, Kenny and Bobbi McCaughey made history when they welcomed the first set of surviving septuplets to the world. Now, 18 years later, as the septuplets prepare to leave the nest, the world has only one question: "How the hell did we all get so old?"

Amber Scorah's son Karl was three months old when she dropped him off at his first day of daycare. When she returned two and a half hours later to breastfeed him on her lunch break, he was dead.

To further emphasize what can only be described as a batshitcrazy level of hypocrisy, a petition has been started on change.org to ensure that Davis receives the Biblical treatment for her own "misdeeds" –– stoning. While I wouldn't go quite that far, the point is taken. Multiple other petitions have also been started to remove her from office.

Former President Jimmy Carter announced that his most recent scans showed no evidence of cancer, and he may owe his rapid response to science.