Jody Allard

In case ground meat wasn't sketchy enough, a new study by Chapman University found that as much as twenty percent of specialty ground meats are mislabeled –– and many include ground horse and even beaver.

If you don't know who the Holderness family is and have somehow managed to miss their series of painfully awkward viral videos, congratulations! You haven't missed much.

In case you live on Mars, which is the only possible way you've missed the shitshow that is Kim Davis, this isn't Davis's first rodeo. Oh no, Davis was released from jail earlier this week after she was found in contempt of court for refusing to issue marriage licenses. This order came not just from the local courts, but was backed by the god damn Supreme Court of the United States. Because, you know, you should totally ignore the highest court in the fucking nation.

Short hair is big news this week.

Singer Ciara performed the national anthem before last night's college football national championship game, but it's not her vocal prowess making headlines today –– it's her boobs

Nicole Arbour –– comedian of "Dear Fat People" fame –– is back with a new video, and this time it's NOT a complete debacle. In fact, Arbour is surprisingly on point with her "Dear Refugees" video, which takes aim at the Syrian refugee crisis.

Planned Parenthood did nothing wrong, according to a report released to

Former Stone Temple Pilots and Velvet Revolver frontman Scott Weiland died yesterday, and with his death I've come to two unfortunate conclusions: 1.) Addiction is a bitch, and 2.) The 90s are officially dead.

"Ultimately, it doesn't matter much whether Bland killed herself or was murdered. In both cases, she died because she was hauled into custody for a minor offense that didn't really even merit being pulled over to begin with. Maybe her head injury led to uncharacteristic behavior, or maybe the traumatic arrest triggered a severe PTSD episode, or maybe someone flat out killed her. But, in every case, she died because she was in that police cell."

My only regret is that I wasted nearly 40 years trying to bend my chronically ill body to an imaginary idea of perfection.