Jody Allard

Jody Allard

Bio

Jody Allard is a former techie turned freelance writer living in Seattle. Her online work has appeared on Time, xoJane, and Offbeat Home, among others. She writes primarily about food, family, mothering, and life with a chronic illness. 

Jody Allard Articles

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If I Had Stayed

The more I told him that something hurt me, the more that he did it.

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Brace Yourselves, Kids of the '90s, Nickelodeon May Bring Back Your Favorite Shows

If you lay awake at night praying for new episodes of your favorite childhood TV shows, your prayers may soon be answered. Nickelodeon confirmed that it is considering re-boots of its most beloved shows from the 80s and 90s.

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Target To Open Its First Store WITH A BAR

A Target spokesperson has confirmed that a Chicago neighborhood will soon be the lucky recipient of a brand spanking new Target –– complete with a BAR. That has ALCOHOL.

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The New Holderness Family's Thanksgiving Video Doesn't Suck

If you don't know who the Holderness family is and have somehow managed to miss their series of painfully awkward viral videos, congratulations! You haven't missed much.

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LEGO Finally Responds To Parents' Pain From Stepping On LEGOs

If you have kids, you have probably experienced the unique pain of stepping on a LEGO. After years of listening to parents' tales of woe, LEGO has finally devised a solution: adult-sized LEGO slippers to protect your precious feet.

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15 Other Mistakes I Want Steve Harvey To Make On Live TV

ICYMI, Steve Harvey became the butt of everyone's jokes when he announced the wrong winner of last night's 2015 Miss Universe Pageant. Harvey mistakenly announced that Miss Colombia, the first runner up, had won the pageant instead of the actual winner, Miss Phillipines.

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Just eat it.

In Defense of Letting Your Kids Eat Halloween Candy Until They Puke

We live in the over-information age, and food is no exception. It's not enough to simply eat "healthy" anymore — everything from how our food is produced and manufactured to its genetic makeup comes under constant scrutiny, and it's nearly impossible to suss out what really matters. The food we eat has become a moral and ethical choice, with a heaping serving of shame, too.

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20 Ways You, Like Hillary Clinton, Play The "Woman Card" (According to Trump)

"I think he has to answer for what he says, and I assume that others will make the larger point about his language. It’s not the first time he’s demonstrated a penchant for sexism. Again, I’m not sure anybody’s surprised that he keeps pushing the envelope," said Clinton.

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Why has Kim Davis not been fired yet?

Kim Davis Is Out Of Jail And I Want To Punch Her In The Face

Okay, I know that's not very Christian of me. Luckily, I'm an atheist. But, really, if we are being honest, who doesn't want to punch Kim Davis in the face by now?

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Man Punches Elderly Costco Shopper In The Face Over Nutella Waffle Samples

If you're anything like me, the only enjoyable part of shopping at Costco is the samples. It's always packed, there's nowhere to park, people push their massive fucking carts slower than molasses in January, and everything about it makes me homicidal EXCEPT for the sweet, sweet lure of the samples.

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