Jody Allard

Jody Allard

Bio

Jody Allard is a former techie turned freelance writer living in Seattle. Her online work has appeared on Time, xoJane, and Offbeat Home, among others. She writes primarily about food, family, mothering, and life with a chronic illness. 

Jody Allard Articles

Who in the actual fuck has a whole raw bell pepper at Thanksgiving dinner?

5 Awful Family Members You're Sure To See On Thanksgiving –– And How To Survive

It's time to gather around the table with the family members you see only once or twice a year (for good reason) and try to avoid stabbing each other with your forks. #Blessed.

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Target To Open Its First Store WITH A BAR

A Target spokesperson has confirmed that a Chicago neighborhood will soon be the lucky recipient of a brand spanking new Target –– complete with a BAR. That has ALCOHOL.

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I've Never Felt Nurtured, And Other Things I've Learned Parenting After Complex Trauma

Before I went to therapy, I married a lot of men, had a lot of children, and worked myself to the bone to achieve career success. If I wasn't happy, it was easy to blame that on my alcoholic, cheating husband or raising a tribe of kids or even working too damn much.

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Ben Carson Declares Muslims Unfit For Presidency, Apparently Can't Comprehend The Constitution

Carson's comments came in response to the shitshow that was Trump's campaign rally last week, where an attendee asked a question about how Trump would handle the "problem" that is Muslims in America, and incorrectly stated that President Obama is Muslim. Frankly, it doesn't matter what religion the president adopts, if any, but it's long since been settled that Obama is, in fact, Christian.

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Student Ahmed Mohamed Detained For Bringing Homemade Clock To School

Now, you might be wondering how on Earth a teacher thought that a simple circuit board attached to a clock display was a bomb. And that would be a reasonable thing to wonder –– until you learn that the student detained was Ahmed Mohamed, a Muslim whose father immigrated from Sudan.

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Blacks Belong At "Slower Schools": Supreme Court Justice Scalia Really Just Said That

ICYMI amongst the chorus of outrage over Donald Trump's latest round of racist comments, the Supreme Court is hearing oral arguments this week in Fisher v. the University of Texas, a landmark case challenging the use of race in college admissions –– and Justice Scalia just lost his goddamn mind.

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Frozen Embryos Don't Have Rights, Women Do 

"It's simple, really. If you can muddy the waters enough, and espouse concern for the rights of those poor defenseless embryos enough, what should be a simple statement about the rights of women to make choices for their own bodies becomes, instead, a convoluted argument around viability and fetal stages that puts the presumed "rights" of fetuses on an equal footing with the actual rights of adult women."

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SOS Found In Socks May Be A Hoax, But The Plight Of Chinese Workers Isn't

Shakhiel Akbar was shocked to find a letter describing the torture inflicted on Chinese factory workers tucked into the socks he bought at a British Primark store. He used his phone to translate the letter, which chronicled the plight of a 39-year-old factory worker.

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"Make no mistake, Seattle parents are in it for the long haul."

School Is Closed Until Further Notice and Seattle Has Some Explaining to Do

Here's the thing, though. Seattle teachers didn't want to strike. What they wanted were reasonable class sizes, less focus on teaching to the test, and livable wages. These are fair and reasonable demands, and that is why parents throughout Seattle have rushed to the picket lines to support our teachers.

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