domestic violence

I didn’t stay because I was afraid he would hurt me if I left. I stayed because I thought if I could find the right combination of behaviors, then I would be able to make him happy.

My father was an abusive man, plain and simple.

That wasn’t all he was, but to my mother, that's who he was. He was a controlling individual who perhaps took the scripture, “Wives, submit to your husbands” a tad bit too literally — and when my mom didn’t submit, she paid the price. Often with a blow to the head.

So much has been written about domestic abuse in the media, mainly from the standpoint of the abused or the abuser. The bystanders — the children, the families that can do little but wait — are often left out.

The sad fact is that most local shelters are underfunded and reliant on individual donations. Supporting your local shelter is important. Aside from calling your local shelter directly and asking what their specific needs are, here is a list of things you can do:

This doesn't mean that the outcomes of domestic violence are always equal; men tend to be bigger and stronger than women, and therefore are more likely to cause serious harm, even in situations where violence is reciprocal. Still, the fact that women are frequently perpetrators of violence in domestic situations substantially undermines the typical story of domestic abuse—and helps to show just how harmful that story is.

A new study shows that at least one in five men admit to domestic violence. Can we say "epidemic"?

Porn star Christy Mack was brutally beaten by an ex-boyfriend. Cue the victim blaming.

Baltimore Raven Ray Rice beat his fiance unconscious, but pleaded for a first time offender program. Cue victim blaming and outrage.