Rebecca Shamblin

I always secretly hoped that having a child would transform me into a more responsible person. I would be a mother! Mothers have excellent dental hygiene, and eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. Sure, I sucked at all that stuff before, but once I had a baby, things would get on track. I would set a good example for my child.

Could I really risk being unmedicated after so many years? Could I face that abyss of depression again while dealing with the influx of hormones and stress brought on by pregnancy? My memories of the darkest days are clear, even 20 years later.

I still feel exactly like me. A more tired me, granted, but still me. I am not overwhelmed by a love for her I could never imagine (which I somehow feel guilty about at times, which is why you should read blogs with caution). I love her dearly and unconditionally – just as I imagined I would. But that is also how I love my husband, my mother, my sister, etc.