Rebecca Shamblin

I thought that being a stay-at-home mom would mean that I wasn't beholden to schedules, and ‘getting out the door on time’ and other constraints that would make me rush my exploring toddler. My child would always be granted the time to pause and learn about her environment. I would let her move on her own schedule – you know, in between all-organic snacks and Montessori activities.

Could I really risk being unmedicated after so many years? Could I face that abyss of depression again while dealing with the influx of hormones and stress brought on by pregnancy? My memories of the darkest days are clear, even 20 years later.

I always secretly hoped that having a child would transform me into a more responsible person. I would be a mother! Mothers have excellent dental hygiene, and eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. Sure, I sucked at all that stuff before, but once I had a baby, things would get on track. I would set a good example for my child.