enabling

Photo by Rod Long on Unsplash

On Enabling: I Was Addicted To My Son's Addiction

There’s a big difference between helping your child and enabling their behaviors. When I discovered my son had an alcohol addiction, I was a single parent of two teenaged children.

The first time I saw my son Brian drunk, he was 14 years old. 

We had just moved from Missouri to New York State after my second divorce. I felt ill-equipped to deal with the painful reality that my son was repeating the cycle of his father, whom I had left due to his alcohol addiction.

When I ask myself how I became an enabler to his addiction, I reflect on my background. I grew up the oldest child in a family of four children. As the eldest, I was called on to be the caretaker of my younger siblings. The caretaking role felt comfortable and validating. When I left home at 18, I chose to pursue a career in nursing, further reinforcing my role as a caretaker.

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Photo by Dmitry Schemelev on Unsplash

A Q&A With Memoirist Kathleen Pooler 

Twenty years in the making, Just the Way He Walked, an alcohol recovery memoir chronicles the journeys of two addicts — her son and her own as an enabler. Read...
Marnie is not responsible for Desi’s choices or his addiction just like no one is real life causes anyone else to be an addict. (Image: YouTube/ HBO)

How "Girls" Depicts Addiction Is Problematic 

While Girls has portrayed important social issues before in a sensitive manner, like Adam’s sister’s arc about postpartum depression, the show completely missed the mark with how it depicted Marnie’s role in Desi’s addiction.

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