loss of a child

Have you ever googled “baby ashes urn”? Has that ever been the highlight of your day? Have you gotten a renewed energy with this type of shopping conquest because it gives you something (anything) you can do for your dead child? Have you experienced such a distinct isolation that even getting gas or going to the grocery store paralyzes you?

The original meaning of the LOVE bracelet, for me, was that my love for my son would never go away. It just was in a different form now. The physical was gone. But my bracelet was a reminder that the LOVE is always there. Six years down the road for me, I know there are so many other hard things that come along with losing a child.

The cultivator bug bit me hard after I lost my first child. Without recognizing what I was doing, as an act of self preservation, I filled my apartment with plants. Before I knew it, I was surrounded by green, comforted by the presence of life — when I had so recently lost one.