How do we put this delicately? Sometimes, a girl wants to redecorate down South.
Whether it’s removing hair, growing hair, doing something about ingrown hairs or re-painting (you’ll see what I mean), there are many things you can do to prettify or healthify your lady parts. These four trends are among the most ridiculous/amazing—and while we can’t get entirely behind, er, in front of all of them, we can remind you that your vagina can be sensitive, so when in doubt, consult your gyno.
Vagina Facials (Vajaycials)
First, let me address what we are all thinking: Do these give you a happy ending? And do you get wet? (Answers: no and maybe.) Now that we have that out of the way, let's focus on what the vajaycial, a technique that varies from spa to spa, is all about.
The J. Sisters salon, which you might know from the classic Sex and The City episode Sex And Another City, is famous for making the Brazilian bikini wax go mainstream. Now they are trying to do the same for the vajaycial. Using a gentle exfoliation technique called gommage, which means "to erase" in French, a cream or paste is applied to the area and then massaged away, a good solution for ingrown hairs.
J. Sisters aren’t the only ones jumping on the vajaycial train. Haven Spa in New York offers the "Peach Smoothie" (sounds delicious!), during which they use an exfoliating scrub and acid peel to open blocked pores and remove ingrown hairs from around the vagina. (Side note: This might be the only time it's OK to use the terms acid and vagina in the same sentence.)
While that sounds a little harsh, the Townhouse Spa offers a "Bikini Facial," which uses microdermabrasion and a topical peel to remove dead skin cells and even out discoloration.
Bama-lam-ing Your Betty
While the waxing industry would have you think otherwise, some women actually want hair down there. But if you want the curtains to match the drapes, you can’t use ordinary hair dye, which sounds terrifying . . . and makes us think of another Sex and the City episode involving Samantha and an unfortunate red dye job.
We recommend Betty Beauty, which makes an ammonia- and paraben-free formula in all sorts of fun colors like hot pink, aqua and purple, as well as more natural colors including black, blonde, red and brown.
Vaginal Steam Baths
Juvenex Spa in New York is among a handful of salons to offer this, ahem, hot new trend. It offers the "Gyno Spa Cure," part of the Korean “chai-yok” remedy used to regulate periods and prevent infertility. During the treatment, women squat over a bucket of steaming herbs for half an hour. The treatment is also supposed to increase blood circulation, provide oxygen and relax the pelvic muscles.
Famous advocates for the method include (random!) Sister Sister's Tia and Tamara Mowry—but the treatment has its detractors, too. As Dr. Camilo Gonima, a practicing obstetrician and gynecologist in San Antonio, Texas, told Medical Daily:
“Herbal steams could have some relaxing effects and some beneficial superficial effects on the skin, just like a sauna or a facial steam would. Other than any possible involvement stress might have on these issues, I don't see any basis for any significant effects on fertility or menstrual cycles.”
Vatooing (The New Vajazzling)
Remember a few years ago when vajazzling was all the rage, with stars including Jennifer Love-Hewitt putting designs made of Swarovski tattoos on their perfectly waxed peach? Well, vatooing is the new vajazzling. Vatooing is the process of having a temporary tattoo airbrushed onto the area where the sun don’t shine. Think of it as "temporary tramp stamp 2.0."
And yes, you better believe there's a YouTube video about it . . .
Va j-j Visor
The Va j-j Visor is a cute little shield you use to cover up your labia and inner vulva when you wax, dye, tan, vajaycial, etc. It could also be very helpful if you use depilatory cream, wax or dye at home and want to get every little hair without risking getting product where it shouldn’t be. Because that would hurt a lot—been there, done that, woke up the neighbors with my screams.