Image: The Glow
Having been in and around the beauty industry for the best part of a decade I like to think I have a very high bullshit meter when it comes to products and services that promise the world.
That’s why despite what I had heard, I was very skeptical when I went along to my first Hypoxi session. Hypoxi is a space-aged weight loss solution that promises to take centimetres off your lower body.
There was no denying I was nervous before my first session, not being what one would call a hardcore or even semi-regular exerciser I had no idea what I was in for (and given my last Physicore experience, I was a little terrified).
But I shouldn’t have worried, it’s basically the antithesis of a gym workout. You’re lying down, you get to read magazines, check your email, Facebook, Instagram, make phone calls, and organise your social life. It’s the ultimate exercise for multi-taskers.
After I was weighed and measured, my consultant explained the rules. Well, mostly just one: ‘No exercise or carbs after a session.’ I walked through the wooden salon doors and into what looked like Judy Jetson’s personal at-home gym. There were two white horizontal vacuum bicycle machines, and another horizontal chair with what looked like a black spacesuit resting on top (I later found out this was the cupping machine).
I was then directed to step into a compression skirt (seriously, was this place modelled on the Jetsons?) and with a heart rate monitor strapped around my ribcage and thigh I was ready to . . . well, lie down and start pedaling.
The consultant set the machine to 30 minutes, and then I was on my own; free to surf the net on the iPads provided, catch up on work emails or flick through a magazine. I’m instructed to keep my heart rate in the 120 range and a rpm between 50-60. When the vacuum kicks in, it feels like I’m pedaling in zero gravity. I can feel by legs pumping harder, but without too much effort from me. It took me 20 minutes for me to break a sweat. On the wall hangs a huge inspirational poster with the words, ‘Dreams don’t work unless you do.’ Which is ironic because, short of strolling, this is the easiest form of exercise I’ve ever done. It’s also one of the most effective.
I’ve tried almost everything to get rid of my cellulite. Coffee scrubs, anti-cellulite creams, seaweed wraps, Tracy Anderson workout tapes, juice fasts, fad diets, and nothing has worked. Until now. It wasn’t until my third session of Hypoxi that I noticed a difference. I caught a glimpse of the back of my legs and couldn’t stop staring at myself.
There was a definite reduction in fat back there. The only downside being, I’m now completely obsessed with checking myself out in the mirror.
I had given Hypoxi zero chance of working, so I was completely blown away when it actually did. My cellulite didn’t completely disappear, but the texture of the skin was tighter, and I lost centimetres off my thighs.
While I’m not brave enough to tell you my weight and measurements, I can tell you that in my 12 sessions of Hypoxi, I lost 4 cms off my stomach, 2 cms off my hips, 2.5 cm off each of my thighs, and 3.75 cm off my bum.