Amy Monticello

The phrase “self-care” comes loaded with assumptions about who has the ability to care for themselves, and what kind of care is valuable. Exercise is virtuous. Devouring “Making a Murderer” in a single sitting is gluttonous.

I’m not here to scream from the other side of my parenting choice. What I want is for women’s choices regarding fertility to be supported, full stop.

I’ve habitually, if unconsciously, compared myself to other white women who, in far greater numbers than women of color, are granted competitor status in America’s Olympics of life.

An equitably responsible life between a man and a woman should not be seen as a rare wonder, but an expectation.

Feeling sexy in a body my culture deems unsexy, while also believing that body should dutifully service someone else’s pleasure doesn’t make me want to slip on a silk teddy and give it the old college try.