Chelsea Cristene

Chipping away at the problem of bisexual erasure starts with living truth out loud.

This article first appeared on Role Reboot and has been republished with permission. 

I was a band geek in high school. In exchange for the Saturdays we spent at various competitions all over the state, we would get an occasional “down” day to watch a movie or just hang out in the band room. These were lazy days filled with giggles and gossip, and on one day in particular, kisses with my friend Jessica.

Jessica was cute and kind and one year younger than me. “I don’t see anything wrong when girls kiss girls,” she said as we sat cross-legged on the tile floor: something that you’re never supposed to think let alone say out loud in a small conservative town. “Neither do I!” I agreed. And there it was – a smooch!

Thank you, Isolde, for making me pause, for encouraging me to ditch the pocket computer for conversation with someone new.

The first rule: Unrequited love sucks. The second rule took regrettably longer for me to get a handle on: My unilateral crush was not this guy’s problem.

That’s the thing about perfectionism. When you chase something unattainable, you complete a self-fulfilling prophecy.