Christine Schoenwald

Christine Schoenwald

Bio

Christine Schoenwald is a writer, comedian, spoken word diva, and cat lover. She has a degree in Theater Arts and pursued a career in comedy and improv at places like The Groundlings, ACME Comedy Theater, and Bang Comedy Studio before discovering her love for personal narrative/storytelling… well,  that and the fact that she never developed that tough skin that actors are supposed to have or the desire to go on auditions. Her writing has appeared in Salon, The Los Angeles Times, Purple Clover, Bustle, Role Reboot, XoJane, and she’s a regular contributor to Your Tango. She’s performed in storytelling/personal essay shows such as Bawdy Storytelling, The P.E.Z. Show, Tasty Words, Taboo Tales, and many others. Her story Stinkos was nominated for The Pushcart Prize. For more information, please visit Christineschoenwaldwriter.com.

Christine Schoenwald Articles

My Family Doesn't Celebrate Holidays, But I Do 

Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa are nearly here. So, what do you do when your family doesn’t celebrate any holidays whatsoever?

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I’m fat, but I have no fat friends.

I'm Fat And I Wish I Had Fat Friends 

I’m fat, but I have no fat friends. It’s not that all my friends are height-weight appropriate — it’s just that I can’t describe them as fat.

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Fat camp would be a piece of cake — that I wouldn’t be allowed to eat.

I'm A Fat Camp Survivor ​

I’m a survivor — of fat camp. How terrible could a weight-loss camp be? Well, it was bad enough that I’m still dealing with its after-effects decades later.

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People with anxiety show a behavior know as over-generalization.

People With Anxiety See The World In An Entirely Different Way

Anxiety isn't something people choose to experience — it's connected with how their brains see the world.

A new study conducted by Offir Laufer, David Israeli and Rony Paz (of the Weizmann Institute of Science in Israel) has found that individuals with anxiety see the world differently, and this difference is because of a variance in their brains.

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Ooh la la.

Pretty AND Horny: 10 Beauty Products That Double As Sex Stimulants

Whether you're a high-maintenance kind of woman or a low-maintenance one, chances are high that you use some kind of beauty product. It may be that a bar of soap, or a special shampoo or lipstick. Maybe you have shelves full of moisturizers, conditioners, makeup, and hair products.

Whatever you do, you do a little something, even if it's just to spray a scent on. You may prefer only the simplest of organic products to touch your body or may spend thousands of dollars getting only the finest name brands.

Then there's the question of getting a little something-something to make getting your sexy on even easier, especially if you're not comfortable going to a sex shop. To help you out, here are ten products that will make you feel sexier and intensify your arousal.

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My candy addiction is real and the holidays are hard.

The Holidays Are The Worst Time Of Year For My Candy Addiction

My candy addiction is always with me, but the period between Halloween and New Years is the most challenging time of year.

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There was a part of me that I wanted them to know that while I was fat, I wasn’t that fat.

Face To Face With My Own Fatphobia 

Now I know that just because I’m fat doesn’t mean that I don’t have moments of fatphobia. My own fatphobia has taught me a lot.

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No matter where I am weight-wise, this isn’t a fat suit that I can take off, and I can’t rely on it to keep me safe — that’s something I have to do for myself.

My Fat Doesn't Protect Me; I Have To Do That For Myself

Sexual assault doesn’t discriminate based on body weight, and none of us should take our safety for granted. My fat doesn't protect me.

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I'm Fat-Shaming My Cat And It Needs To Stop

The truth is, we want our cats fat and our women skinny.

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