Christine Schoenwald

"Throwing tons of time and energy into dieting instead of working on my novel."

My swimsuit phobia started in middle school — that breeding ground of body shame and fear. One minute I’m a kid excitedly putting on my pink two-piece and running into the ocean, the next, I’m avoiding any place where people are known to live in their swimsuits and I might be forced to wear one.

A woman’s sexuality, especially a fat woman’s sexuality makes some people feel extremely uncomfortable, so they try to erase fat sexuality.

Whether you're a high-maintenance kind of woman or a low-maintenance one, chances are high that you use some kind of beauty product. It may be that a bar of soap, or a special shampoo or lipstick. Maybe you have shelves full of moisturizers, conditioners, makeup, and hair products.

Whatever you do, you do a little something, even if it's just to spray a scent on. You may prefer only the simplest of organic products to touch your body or may spend thousands of dollars getting only the finest name brands.

Then there's the question of getting a little something-something to make getting your sexy on even easier, especially if you're not comfortable going to a sex shop. To help you out, here are ten products that will make you feel sexier and intensify your arousal.

The truth is, we want our cats fat and our women skinny.

“You’re fat and ugly,” I’d hear, or, “Look at your stomach, it’s disgusting!” This wasn’t a neighborhood bully taunting me on my way to school — this is what I said to myself all day long, well into adulthood.

Now I know that just because I’m fat doesn’t mean that I don’t have moments of fatphobia. My own fatphobia has taught me a lot.

We all want someone who will appreciate our curves, voluptuousness, strength, and beauty without fetishizing us. I’m fat, I’m fabulous, but I’m not your fetish.

My brother, Frederick, was eight when I was born. I don't know if he was happy to have a sister or resented me being born, as it was difficult to get any kind of reading on what he was thinking or feeling. I never felt any love or affection from him — unless his way of showing it was through emotional and physical abuse.

Before I started to write for Ravishly, I never used the word fat, and I rarely mentioned by body-type. But since then, I’ve tried to be more honest and have worked towards self-acceptance which includes coming to terms and owning the word fat.