Erin McKelle

I’m adopted. It’s one of those things that has been a major force in shaping my identity, but that’s hard to talk about authentically almost anywhere.

We hear all the time how hookup culture is ruining the lives of young people everywhere, that we're doomed to never marry and to live in sin for the rest of our days. But is the hype around our generation's love of casual sex real? Or are most of us actually settling down after we sow our wild oats?

[CN: sexual assault] No more sex — no touching, fondling… Nada. I was done. I had a new mission: to heal.

I am a recovering serial dater who is now single and actually enjoying it.

My fears of dependence were so potent that I decided to quit meds for good. Though I didn’t just throw away mental healthcare, mind you, since I had been, and planned on continuing to go, to weekly therapy sessions. I wanted to find other ways to manage my mental illness without popping pills on the daily.

There’s nothing worse than taking a pregnancy test when you don’t want to be pregnant.

It’s especially bad when you don’t know who the father is.

Last year, this is the exact situation I found myself in: 23, single, not on contraception, and with a late period. I was nothing short of panicked.

After finding the least expensive test that CVS carried (by the way, can we talk about how expensive pregnancy tests are?!), I went home to find out my fate. After locking myself in the bathroom, I turned the shower on to drown out the noise of my thoughts. I waited five minutes and then peered at the stick, leaning as far away from the sink as possible in case it showed two lines.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I saw one clear line on the screen.

I quickly tossed the test in the trash, turned off the shower, and hopped in bed with a bottle of cabernet.

As I write this, it’s the eve of my 21st birthday, or the last step in my journey to adulthood. So. Many. Feels. I’m going to give you a list of the 21 things I’ve learned before turning 21, to look back at what I’ve learned and done so far:

I propose going back to basics, back to what self-care is supposed to be about. Instead of this new flashy and expensive self-care movement.

I firmly believe that every person on the planet could benefit from therapy. I myself have been going to therapy every week for about four years and don't plan on stopping.

We’ve been telling researchers, doctors, and anyone who will listen that we’re not satisfied with the birth control pill because of its side effects for years, but maybe this latest study from Sweden will make them actually listen.