Erin McKelle

I’ve said I was “good,” “fine,” or “doing well” after crying for hours, lying in bed all day with no motivation, and even experiencing suicidal ideation. My worst days are when the temptation to mask my pain with a smile is the strongest.

[CN: sexual assault] No more sex — no touching, fondling… Nada. I was done. I had a new mission: to heal.

As I write this, it’s the eve of my 21st birthday, or the last step in my journey to adulthood. So. Many. Feels. I’m going to give you a list of the 21 things I’ve learned before turning 21, to look back at what I’ve learned and done so far:

Even though I've suffered from clinical depression ever since I was 15 years old, my depressive episodes have a lot more at stake as I’ve gotten older, especially since I’m dependent on my own productivity in order to survive.

It’s no secret the Kardashians receive a lot of hate. By the reactions of some, you’d think the Kardashians were murderers or terrorists, but really they’re just a family who happens to be very, very famous.

If you're one of those people who has 100,000 excuses as to why you can't take a vacation, I'm here to tell you why and how to make it happen — even on a budget and with no time!

If you’re even remotely interested in astrology, there’s no doubt you’ve seen compatibility tests that tell you how well you and your partner’s stars are aligned. But can astrology really help you to see who makes a good match for you?

If you’re an entrepreneur like myself, you probably know exactly what I’m talking about. No one is looking over your shoulder to see if you’re on-task, but you’re probably working 12+ hour days anyway.

There’s nothing worse than taking a pregnancy test when you don’t want to be pregnant.

It’s especially bad when you don’t know who the father is.

Last year, this is the exact situation I found myself in: 23, single, not on contraception, and with a late period. I was nothing short of panicked.

After finding the least expensive test that CVS carried (by the way, can we talk about how expensive pregnancy tests are?!), I went home to find out my fate. After locking myself in the bathroom, I turned the shower on to drown out the noise of my thoughts. I waited five minutes and then peered at the stick, leaning as far away from the sink as possible in case it showed two lines.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I saw one clear line on the screen.

I quickly tossed the test in the trash, turned off the shower, and hopped in bed with a bottle of cabernet.

I’ve decided to give up any sort of permanent living space in favor of using my money to travel and see the world. The only things I have with me are the things I can literally carry on my back, which includes my purse, a carry-on bag, and two suitcases.