Gemma Hartley

Gemma Hartley

Bio

Gemma Hartley is a freelance writer with a BA in writing from The University of Nevada, Reno. She is author of FED UP: Emotional Labor, Women and The Way Forward. She lives in Reno with her husband, three young kids, an awesome dog, and a terrible cat.

Gemma Hartley Articles

In a few weeks, I'll be sending my second kid off to school full-time. It's a moment I know I should feel sad about, and believe me, sometimes I do, but mostly I feel guilty because I don't.

I Feel Guilty About Sending My Kids To School

Back when I had my first child, back when he was still a baby, I imagined us moving to the mountains. I was thinking about having three more kids, living off the grid, and soaking up every last bit of their wild childhood. It was a fantasy, through and through.

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Sure, I could probably use a few new life-hacks, but if I can figure out how to love my life in 2017, that will be more than enough.

A Better New Year's Resolution

My resolutions regularly remind me that I don’t think I am enough, just as I am. So this year, instead of focusing on habit changes, I'm more concerned with changing my perspective.

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Being a Supermom isn't worth losing a spouse (Image Credit: Thinkstock)

I Gave Up Being A Supermom To Be A Better Wife

When my son was a baby, I used my husband as a second set of hands. He was my co-parent, the other caretaker... I was no longer viewing him as my partner, but rather as an aide to attaining the next level of mothering. Even though my husband never called me out on my behavior, I slowly but surely hung up my need for perfection. Because if being a great mother means being a crappy wife, I don't want any part of it.

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I wasn’t simply an accessory to misogynistic behavior — I was actively participating in it. Image: Thinkstock.

'One Of The Guys': On Cool Girls And Internalized Misogyny

I felt unique in my passion for martial arts, my affinity for Call of Duty, my go-with-the-flow attitude toward boyish adventures. I wanted to be “one of the guys,” while still retaining the distinction of my sexuality. I longed to be the quintessential cool girl — desirable yet approachable. But in retrospect, all that really amounted to internalized misogyny.

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Photo by Volha Flaxeco on Unsplash

Cleaning Up After Your Husband Is Not A "Blessing"

Last week, the internet went into an understandable uproar when a Christian woman decided to take to Facebook to talk about how she is

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I’m an ambivert. And if you’ve ever felt like you don’t quite fit into the introvert or extrovert crowds, maybe you are too!

Finding Out I'm An Ambivert Totally Changed My Life

I spent most of my life assuming I was an introvert, but not a very good one. Then finding out I'm an ambivert totally changed my life!

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What you really need out the gate isn’t a “mom tribe.” You simply need a tribe. Period. Image: Joni Edelman.

Why I Gave Up On Making 'Mom' Friends

Mom friends were the ones to whom you were supposed to spill all those dark parenting thoughts. I wanted that mom-magic. I knew it was out there somewhere.

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#CleaningGoals don't always translate so well into reality. (Image Credit: Gemma Hartley)

My Cleaning List Is A Thing Of Beauty, But My House Is A Hot Mess

If you were to walk into my house on any given day, you wouldn’t know that I am an efficient and organized person.

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Keep your pony power, baby. Don’t ever let it go.

Why I Won't Make My Daughter 'Play Nice'

It probably isn’t the sort of parenting moment that is supposed to make a mother proud — the hitting, growling, and otherwise uncivilized decorum... But I couldn’t help feeling a deep satisfaction with my daughter.

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The real reason I’m worried about sending my kids to school is that I’m going to be alone.

All Of My Kids Are In School & I Don't Know How To Be Alone

The real reason I’m worried about sending my kids to school is that I’m going to be alone. For the first time in nearly a decade. And that’s scary.

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