Jess Lahitou

Maybe you’re an aspiring novelist, or maybe you know one.

What do you say? What do you say when the unthinkable happens?

Last night, Fox News hosted the final Republican debate before Iowa caucus goers cast their votes on Monday. Donald Trump, refusing to participate if Megyn Kelly was debate moderator, skipped the event. He instead held his own rally across town, scheduling his speech to coincide with the start of the Fox debate.

The year ahead promises to be a whopper of political intrigue, events, and (probably) scandal. Here are the top stories to watch as we head into the hype that comes but once every four years: A presidential election.

The blatant promise of a career in the spotlight has stripped the Bachelor/Bachelorette of its beautiful, benign lie: that we could watch “regular” people navigate the perils and pitfalls of modern dating, that such a quest was in and of itself enough, and that a happy ending was a real possibility.

Rejoicing or weeping will depend on who you are, but let’s look at what happened either way.

Democrats:

Hello, Americans. Another Wednesday morning, another nightmare day after Tuesday voting. What happened last night? Donald Trump won three out of four states.

So Michael Moore is known as a provocateur.

Tim Kaine and Mike Pence both showed themselves superior to their presidential ticket counterparts. Ouch.

A few weeks ago, I thought we might actually celebrate the end of the 2016 election.