Jess Lahitou

The blatant promise of a career in the spotlight has stripped the Bachelor/Bachelorette of its beautiful, benign lie: that we could watch “regular” people navigate the perils and pitfalls of modern dating, that such a quest was in and of itself enough, and that a happy ending was a real possibility.

What’s the greatest achievement of the Rio Olympics? Is it the success of Latin America’s first host nation, Brazil? Is it the extraordinary feats of the US Women’s gymnastics team? Is it the spellbinding brilliance of Usain Bolt’s superhuman speed? Or is it perhaps the Twitter feed of Leslie Jones?

Tim Kaine and Mike Pence both showed themselves superior to their presidential ticket counterparts. Ouch.

Never before has a group of college students expressed such clever commitment… to the tax code.

This last Friday happened to be the inauguration of President Donald Trump.

During last Wednesday night’s CNN Republican Presidential Debate, moderator Jake Tapper gave the ultimate softball question: What woman would you put on the ten-dollar bill? Instead, answers ranged from decent to head-scratching to laughable to flat-out embarrassing.

One question here: why is a major government agency unable to fix its Twitter account for over a year? Two questions: Who is Marc Rich?

So Michael Moore is known as a provocateur.

While watching the third Republican debate last night on CNBC, I thought to myself: Self, you’re going to have to write a straight review of this thing. The candidates are too wonky tonight to be caricatured, and even Donald Trump has reigned himself in significantly. The debate was billed as “Your Money, Your Vote,” and the questions hewed pretty close to the economy. Read: not many social-issues gaffe bait.

Yes, it may still be 2015, but due to political and societal realities, presidential elections start early — like, stupidly early. Here’s the rundown on what to look for in your future POTUS.