Jody Allard

Jody Allard

Bio

Jody Allard is a former techie turned freelance writer living in Seattle. Her online work has appeared on Time, xoJane, and Offbeat Home, among others. She writes primarily about food, family, mothering, and life with a chronic illness. 

Jody Allard Articles

Ben Carson Declares Muslims Unfit For Presidency, Apparently Can't Comprehend The Constitution

Carson's comments came in response to the shitshow that was Trump's campaign rally last week, where an attendee asked a question about how Trump would handle the "problem" that is Muslims in America, and incorrectly stated that President Obama is Muslim. Frankly, it doesn't matter what religion the president adopts, if any, but it's long since been settled that Obama is, in fact, Christian.

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School Includes Muslim Hymn in Holiday Program, Parents Lose Their Minds

ICYMI, there's a war against Christmas and nowhere is it fiercer than a Minnesota school that dared to include a Muslim hymn in its annual holiday concert. The rest of the program was dedicated to Christmas carols and Hanukkah songs, but many parents are up in arms that a lone Muslim song was included in the program.

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The New Holderness Family's Thanksgiving Video Doesn't Suck

If you don't know who the Holderness family is and have somehow managed to miss their series of painfully awkward viral videos, congratulations! You haven't missed much.

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Kim Davis Has Filed Another Bigoted Petition To Halt Gay Marriage And I'm Sick Of Her Sh*t

In case you live on Mars, which is the only possible way you've missed the shitshow that is Kim Davis, this isn't Davis's first rodeo. Oh no, Davis was released from jail earlier this week after she was found in contempt of court for refusing to issue marriage licenses. This order came not just from the local courts, but was backed by the god damn Supreme Court of the United States. Because, you know, you should totally ignore the highest court in the fucking nation.

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#YouAintNoMuslimBruv Hashtag Trends In Wake Of London Attack

A man who stabbed three people in a London subway station Saturday tried to instill fear of ISIS by yelling "This is for Syria" as he was hauled away by police. Instead, it is the words of a bystander that captured the world's attention.

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Holidays without your mother are hard.

Surviving The Holidays When You’re Estranged From Your Mother

It’s been three years since I divorced my mother. The reasons are long and complicated, yet also short and simple. My mother is not capable of mothering anyone, and I am healthier and happier without her.

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Former Presidential Loser Bob Dole Endorses Future Presidential Loser Jeb Bush

Former Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole endorsed Jeb Bush for president today, leaving the world scratching their heads and expressing their surprise that Dole is actually still alive.

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Just eat it.

In Defense of Letting Your Kids Eat Halloween Candy Until They Puke

We live in the over-information age, and food is no exception. It's not enough to simply eat "healthy" anymore — everything from how our food is produced and manufactured to its genetic makeup comes under constant scrutiny, and it's nearly impossible to suss out what really matters. The food we eat has become a moral and ethical choice, with a heaping serving of shame, too.

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Brace Yourselves, Grammar Sticklers: Singular "They" Is The Word Of The Year 

As a former English lit major and long-time editor, I've met my share of linguistics pedants. Today is not their day. But for everyone else who appreciates the natural evolution of language, rejoice! Singular "they" was just named 2015's Word of the Year.

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An Open Letter To Jessa Duggar: Yes, Josh Is A Child Molester

I don't know what your family has told you, but it isn't normal for a brother to fondle his sisters as they sleep or while he reads them a story.

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