Suzannah Weiss

When speaking with eating disorder victims, what not to say is as important as what to say.

Women — and everyone, for that matter — I invite you to join me in a new game. Instead of stooping down to sympathize when someone strays from societal body ideals, and instead of bringing others down with us when we're struggling with body image ourselves, let's all lift one another up by declaring that there's nothing wrong with what we've just eaten, how we look in a bathing suit, or what size pants we’re wearing.

Talking about sex may make you uncomfortable, but so would having children who grow up in ignorance and fear.

I have pressured people into sex. I have had partners say they weren’t in the mood and tried to change their minds. I have sulked when they didn’t. And I did this for years without realizing it was wrong. Why? Because I’m a straight woman.

When people picture an eating disorder, they often imagine shocking behaviors that deviate wildly from normal eating. But our society’s definition of “normal,” especially for women, can look so similar to an eating disorder that it’s hard to tell when you’ve crossed the line between healthy and disordered eating. That's why, by following popular health advice, I became anorexic without even knowing it.

The more conversations I have with fellow millennials, the more I realize we’re all going through similar growing pains. Professionally, we’re often struggling either to find our niche or to advance in the careers we’ve settled on. Socially, our friendships are in flux, with people constantly moving around and revising their values. And romantically, many of us still have nothing to report while we watch one friend after another pair up.

Who knew the tech industry could do that.

When I was first diagnosed with anorexia ten years ago, I vaguely knew that eating disorders were a feminist issue.

If they could go back, a lot of women in their 30s would reassure their 20-something selves that they really don’t need to worry. “No one has it all figured out yet. You're going to be fine."

I’ve never been able to embrace the life of no regrets. Regrets are stubborn seeds that plant themselves in my mind, refusing to leave until something grows from them. I water them by reliving my past until I figure out what I would do differently if I could go back. Eventually, I do go back, even if the situation is slightly different.