Tamarah Rockwood

Tamarah Rockwood

Bio

Tamarah Rockwood is a stay-at-home, homeschooling, beer drinking, bourbon loving, roller skating, forest-dwelling mother of 5.  She met her husband in high school, and they have been getting away with unlimited snogging and being stupidly happy together for over 20 years.  Tamarah has a degree in American & British Literature, published a book of poetry (“Petals of Magnolia”), which has gone on to win zero national awards, and been an in-house editor for small poetry journals, worked in real estate (yuck), art galleries (yay!), substitute teaching and finally pole-vaulting into SAHM-hood without even spilling her drink.  In her free time she writes for her blog, The Platypus Directive, as well as XOJane and Featured Blogs on BlogHer, thinking about redefining motherhood, figuring out what it means to be a woman, and posting bourbon reviews.  Hey, somebody’s gotta do it.  

Tamarah Rockwood Articles

mom butt. bathing suit.

I Have A Mom Butt — And It's OK

The Mom Butt is a little wider, a little flatter and a little longer than the butts on the totally dedicated and amazing women on Pinterest (mad props to them, seriously).

Read...
Jared has diaper duty. Forever.

Why Parenting Is Like A Silicon Valley Startup

The thing is, the more I watch this show, and the more I think back to the endless years in Start Up culture that we experienced, the more I keep thinking: “This is way too similar to parenting.”

Read...

5 Parenting Conversations I Am So Done With

"If I am holding an amber beer in my hand, I am not talking about naptimes. If I hear shop from your lips, I am ordering you three more martinis and getting you shitfaced..."

Read...
The Donald. (Credit: Gage Skidmore)

5 Things That Might Be More Disgusting Than Donald Trump

"I just can’t see Donald Trump on the ballot as being the most disgusting thing in the world. Right? I mean, there must be things out there that are actually more disgusting than Donald Trump."

Read...

5 Things You Probably Should Tell Grads

Typical advice: Go out there and find yourself...on the precipice of death overlooking a valley of broken dreams, student loans, and tears.

Read...

3 Things That Make Parenting Harder

I worry about the food I give them. I worry about the clothes we have for them. I stress over the amount of time I spend with them . . . or don’t spend with them. When is it enough, and when is it overpowering?

Read...

In Case Seattle Sinks Into The Ocean: A Bucket List

Kathryn Schulz from The New Yorker has warned the entire West Coast of an eminent natural disaster. Apparently, the Western coastline has this crazy fault line that has stretch marks called the “Cascadia subduction zone.” And it is in these subduction zones which we are all going to die.

Read...
Let's see how this goes.

School Is In Session: 5 Lunches I'm Eating ALONE

1. EATING OUT. OMG, I could eat lunch at a diner . . . without also being given a coloring sheet with crayons. I could eat a whole meal by myself. I can play on my phone without having to share it! Bonus: No kids menus required.

Read...

Unfriending My Old Friend, Guilt

I don’t like my old friend Guilt very much. We are not BFFs. She smells funny, and I don’t appreciate her company.

Read...
I am the rock. You'll need to know that for later.

Stephen Fry Is My Spirit Animal: The Panic Of Social Anxiety

My reality has to include social anxiety, because I have had social anxiety for as long as I can remember. School programs, football stadiums, parades, large parties . . . hell, even small parties. I would rather not. To the point that I will simply not attend. Not because I can’t handle it; I can. I just don’t enjoy the crowds, and I don’t enjoy my reaction to the crowds. I get bitchy and impatient, mostly with myself, and I actually don’t like being bitchy and impatient.

Read...