Winona Dimeo-Ediger

Have you guys tried those “adult” Lego sets? They’re not “adult” in, like, a “build your own dildo” way (although I’m sure that’s a thing on eBay) but in a “you follow instructions that are probably too advanced for your 3-year-old nephew to follow and feel super smart and accomplished when you put the final piece on the top of your small-scale replica of the Eiffel Tower” way.

At any given moment 43% of Portland residents are chained to something in protest. The other 57% are already in jail for chaining themselves to other things.

When you’re helping people zip up dresses and watching their reactions to certain items of clothing, you start noticing patterns. Here are four of the phrases I hear most often in the dressing room, and how I wish — oh, how I wish! — I could respond.

As much as I love the holidays, there are a lot of chores and errands this time of year requires that are, let’s say, less than fun.

You’re washing dishes or sorting laundry or grocery shopping, half-listening to a random Pandora station when it happens: Your favorite song from 7th grade starts playing.

Welcome to the Proud Coven of Secondhand Shoppers, my dear! I’m sorry your entry into our well-dressed, eco-friendly, budget-abiding coven wasn’t a happy or voluntary one, but now that you’re here, let me assure you that thrifting is not scary or gross, and in fact can be super-fun.

"These days, I don’t shop at the mall very often, but every once in a while when I find myself at a mall — any — I’m overcome by a wave of nostalgia for my salad days (although perhaps “Sbarro calzone days” would be a more fitting expression here). In many ways, I grew up in these chain stores and pretzel kiosks. And sometimes I feel compelled to write melodramatic poetry about it."

Here are a few tips for managing a major style transition without going bankrupt/insane.

5. Treat fan recruitment like a multi-level marketing scheme. Doctor Who fandom is like Mary Kay in that whoever you recruit into the fandom becomes your team, and whoever they recruit, and so on and so forth.

Now, it may seem like the NRA is comprised of emotionally stunted gun fetishists with a shriveled up copy of the second amendment where their hearts should be, but that’s simply not true. They totally cry about stuff! Not mass shootings of children, but other stuff. Just to be clear, here are 10 things worth crying #REALTEARS, according to the NRA.