Kevin Spacey, why do you tease us so?
As we (read: those psychotically hooked on overwrought political drama) know, the third season of House of Cards is supposed to hit the blessed Netflix waves February 27. But instead, like Queen Bey quietly dropping a new album, the famed series discreetly popped up on many a Netflix queue earlier today. Like all faithful Underwoodians, I reached for my phone to cancel on my Valentine and then—
It was gone. Just like the evanescent chill of a popsicle in the desert, HOC was ripped from our hearts before we had time to lose ourselves in its magic. Apparently, the overlords at Netflix noticed their error:
This is Washington. There's always a leak. All 13 episodes will launch February 27.
— House of Cards (@HouseofCards) February 11, 2015
Forsooth, why? Just, why? Maybe . . .
1. HOC is real and the Obama administration is a Netflix show. We were just exposed to a hidden camera in the real White House. (WHOA.)
2. Kevin Spacey/Frances Underwood's sex appeal transcended time. Briefly, it was actually February 27.
3. Robin Wright/Claire Underwood finally called Frances "Farmboy" and the Princess Bride fans at Netflix just couldn't hold in the excitement.
4. Beyonce was mad that her move was replicated, and called her buddy Kanye to fix things at Netflix.
5. It was all a cheap ploy to get fans amped up.
Alas, we may never know.