Eliana Osborn

Eliana Osborn

Bio

Eliana Osborn is a writer and part-time English professor living with her family in Arizona. She spends too much time in the sun and will someday publish her novel in progress.

Eliana Osborn Articles

Having to walk carefully to avoid wedgies? Not helping any of us be our best selves. Image: Thinkstock.

The Life-Changing Magic Of Buying The Correct Size

Size, like age and salary and whatever else, is just a number. Pretending numbers don’t measure things isn’t helpful. I’m 38 years old: That isn’t good or bad, but it IS different from being 18 or 50.

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If he were an asshole to my kids, things would be easier. But he’s not. Image: Thinkstock.

When Your Children's Grandpa Is A Jerk, How Do You Keep Your Cool?

If he were an a--hole to my kids, things would be easier. But he’s not. He’s good with them. He’s his best self. It makes me alternately happy and heartbroken.

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Sharknadoooo!

5 Life Lessons Learned From Watching All Three Sharknado Movies

"Sharknado 3" has an especially unique moment when a human baby is born by being cut out of the side of a shark. Don’t ask questions, there’s nothing to explain.

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The next step, obviously. Image: <a href="http://www.lifespanfitness.com/tr800-dt5-treadmill-desk">LifeSpan Fitness</a>

A Day In The Life At My Standing Desk

I am going to have amazing posture. My neck will look so skinny just from the way I hold my head.

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Religion and feminism: Can they co-exist?

It’s Lonely Being A Religious Feminist

Being a person of faith isn’t cool. It is very personal to me and not something I like to talk about a lot, which goes counter to the whole idea of ‘sharing the good news of the gospel.’

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I’m proud of you right now, even with all the sadness. Image: Thinkstock.

A Letter To A Mom Friend Heading To Rehab

I’m proud of you right now, even with all the sadness. Proud of you for heading to rehab, leaving the kids, the man, the house — all of it — to get on top of things. Doing it instead of just thinking about it, talking about it even, hemming and hawing? That’s pretty badass.

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No-No-No-Notorious.

Notorious RBG Kicks Ass

I’m a sucker for an interesting woman, so Notorious RBG is obviously my sort of book.

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Enjoy the silence... And sleeping on the couch.

My Husband Bought Noise-Canceling Headphones...And I Have Feelings About It

I always have a small piece of my brain on mom mode, no matter what else is happening. I have no problem with this, since that is how humanity has survived.

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The easiest pets of all.

How To Choose The Right Pet For Your Particular Level Of Laziness

If you kill a tortoise, even on accident, you probably shouldn’t have children.

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