Eliana Osborn

Really, you should thank me. I’m just protecting your future self.

I’ve developed a fast and furious passion for the new Daily Show host, Trevor Noah.

...But not in the way you'd think.

1. Borrow a child.

I’ve got two tales of hideous male behavior — at the elementary school, somewhere typically full of good vibes and happiness and all that.

The most important things my mother taught me included work from Neil Diamond, Billy Joel, Wham! and Whitney Houston.

Look, Connect Four is not a good game. But it can be over quickly, which is pretty great.

For you, dear readers, who are thrilled with the teacher in your life — be it your own teacher, the instructor of your child, or even the person who does piano or karate — this list is for you.

I’m full of emotions: pride, awe, fear, nerves. The spelling bee first, then the piano recital. Two different kids, same mom. Same me, wanting to prevent my boys from pain and discomfort. Same me, biting my tongue and smiling broadly in support.

I wanted to write a book last summer. Then I realized what a terrible goal that was and modified accordingly.