Eliana Osborn

My main reason for doing reading testing, enduring a bus ride to a field trip about weapons engineering, and other thrills? Stalking.

If you kill a tortoise, even on accident, you probably shouldn’t have children.

Help.

I cried every single day of my life until I was 18 years old. I did not know this was abnormal.

After this, I’m not going to be able to complain about Meghan Trainor and having to teach my son that "All About That Bass" is talking about girls with big booties.

My husband is worried about stigma, about Owen feeling different, about epilepsy being part of his identity. Those are sweet concerns, really. And I get it — I love the kid too. I’d never want to make his life harder in any way.

Really, you should thank me. I’m just protecting your future self.

84% of full professors in America are White. In case you were unsure, that does not match the overall makeup of the country or the student body.

I’m full of emotions: pride, awe, fear, nerves. The spelling bee first, then the piano recital. Two different kids, same mom. Same me, wanting to prevent my boys from pain and discomfort. Same me, biting my tongue and smiling broadly in support.

We take weekend turns. He does vacations and summers. Literally. He takes them away. It is great.