Kate Ryan

His mind rode the lines, circling on an endless loop to nowhere as he attempted to go about his activities.

The bread had to be store-bought and white, of course, so as not to raise a red flag among my classmates. I still see rebellion in a ham sandwich.

"No self-respecting journalist or publication would ever hire someone who employs the word 'sh--' as a title for anything."

12:48 AM. Why would someone schedule an exorcism for the middle of a weeknight?

Someone would always cook in their tighty whities, his package at eye level for the person doing French homework at the kitchen table.

My tights are cutting me in half at the waist . . . just like a sausage in its casing.

LAX, on the other hand, seemed like a perfect place to pick up the latest deadly virus.

One crawled up the side of the bag and opened her wings, a hardtop convertible with legs.

We all love our dogs. However, some of us take it a little too far, convincing ourselves that our dogs are actually our children. You call your dog your “baby” one day, and the next thing you know, you’re pushing him or her down the street in an expensive stroller. How did we get here? Trust me, it’s a slippery slope. Here are 12 signs you might have a dog-child.

He died a violent death. I saw him myself, flopping between wooden blades, his head bent back strangely.