Kate Ryan

Everywhere you look these days (on Instagram), beautiful pictures abound. From teacups overflowing with succulents to smoothie bowls arranged as art. All while a lavender-haired model casually eats ice cream in front of a stupidly gorgeous Tahitian sunset. All this endless beauty has become a bit dull.

The case of beer I brought, as my mother explained, is “pure poison” and so I must drink it all by myself.

The birds abandon their posts in the pepper trees, sending tiny, oblong leaves raining to the ground.

Like booster engines emptied of fuel, my limbs become disposable, useless tanks as the blood rushes from them.

One of my biggest fears is having a random stranger ask me, "how it’s going?" They might as well ask if I’d like to step into their van and get murdered.

Fresh orange juice, milk, thick slices of ham, a block of cheese, a carton of eggs—her husband kept it this way should this moment arrive.

Someone would always cook in their tighty whities, his package at eye level for the person doing French homework at the kitchen table.

There are some hipster things that hipsters want us to love, so we’ll join their cult. But we’re done falling for these things because we’re all unique individuals. Here are 10 things you need to avoid right now if you don’t want to be a hipster.

My tights are cutting me in half at the waist . . . just like a sausage in its casing.

She got too high while watching The Bachelor and had a misanthropic breakdown.