Kate Ryan

For all of you crazy people that think going to Target is ever a good idea during the holiday season, this is a list on how to survive a shopping trip to Target is for you…

He thought I was mad, but in an artistic way; I thought he was horny all the time, but in an artistic way.

She closed in on the open pores enlarged ten times their normal size by a high magnification pocket mirror.

One crawled up the side of the bag and opened her wings, a hardtop convertible with legs.

I saw my old babysitter at a women’s wrestling cage match.

Like booster engines emptied of fuel, my limbs become disposable, useless tanks as the blood rushes from them.

Fresh orange juice, milk, thick slices of ham, a block of cheese, a carton of eggs—her husband kept it this way should this moment arrive.

LAX, on the other hand, seemed like a perfect place to pick up the latest deadly virus.

Hollywood continues to flounder in a dick-sucking frenzy of self-congratulatory white male directors, writers, and producers.

Alma couldn’t understand why her Yelp reviews were so dismal. She didn’t advertise herself as a magician. She was a hair stylist.