Kate Ryan

She got too high while watching The Bachelor and had a misanthropic breakdown.

A bloated mother in her polka dot one-piece gnaws on a corndog while reading the romantic pulp she picked up on her way out of the supermarket . . .

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

I would send some chocolates, but I’m not allowed anymore since they found the shiv in the birthday cake I sent you.

There are some hipster things that hipsters want us to love, so we’ll join their cult. But we’re done falling for these things because we’re all unique individuals. Here are 10 things you need to avoid right now if you don’t want to be a hipster.

I have no choice but to start all over again, tomorrow or not at all.

As an Uber driver, I have the privilege of talking to and eavesdropping on a sampling of L.A.’s finest, ranging from the clinically insane to the simply self-absorbed. As a writer, there is no end to the amount of inspiration my passengers provide.

For all of you crazy people that think going to Target is ever a good idea during the holiday season, this is a list on how to survive a shopping trip to Target is for you…

It was a tradition of theirs. When siblings Sue and Johnny went home to their mother’s for Christmas, they watched the 11 o’clock local news.

Someone would always cook in their tighty whities, his package at eye level for the person doing French homework at the kitchen table.