Kate Ryan

I saw my old babysitter at a women’s wrestling cage match.

Like booster engines emptied of fuel, my limbs become disposable, useless tanks as the blood rushes from them.

“You are the naked girl on horse, yes?” he said, approaching her table from across the café patio.

12:48 AM. Why would someone schedule an exorcism for the middle of a weeknight?

She knows you’re not supposed to call it an “it,” but she honestly can’t tell if it’s a boy or girl or . . . undecided.

She got too high while watching The Bachelor and had a misanthropic breakdown.

She gropes for attention while he dies in the other room.

There are some hipster things that hipsters want us to love, so we’ll join their cult. But we’re done falling for these things because we’re all unique individuals. Here are 10 things you need to avoid right now if you don’t want to be a hipster.

We all love our dogs. However, some of us take it a little too far, convincing ourselves that our dogs are actually our children. You call your dog your “baby” one day, and the next thing you know, you’re pushing him or her down the street in an expensive stroller. How did we get here? Trust me, it’s a slippery slope. Here are 12 signs you might have a dog-child.

He thought I was mad, but in an artistic way; I thought he was horny all the time, but in an artistic way.