Kate Ryan

He thought I was mad, but in an artistic way; I thought he was horny all the time, but in an artistic way.

“You are the naked girl on horse, yes?” he said, approaching her table from across the café patio.

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

Everyone wants to have the funny tweets because people equate them with wealth, power, and beauty. The problem is, we’re not all funny.

Like booster engines emptied of fuel, my limbs become disposable, useless tanks as the blood rushes from them.

For all of you crazy people that think going to Target is ever a good idea during the holiday season, this is a list on how to survive a shopping trip to Target is for you…

I have no choice but to start all over again, tomorrow or not at all.

There are some hipster things that hipsters want us to love, so we’ll join their cult. But we’re done falling for these things because we’re all unique individuals. Here are 10 things you need to avoid right now if you don’t want to be a hipster.

LAX, on the other hand, seemed like a perfect place to pick up the latest deadly virus.

She got too high while watching The Bachelor and had a misanthropic breakdown.