Kate Ryan

Surviving the Apocalypse didn’t mean they couldn’t enjoy a little romance.

She gropes for attention while he dies in the other room.

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

He died a violent death. I saw him myself, flopping between wooden blades, his head bent back strangely.

He thought I was mad, but in an artistic way; I thought he was horny all the time, but in an artistic way.

One crawled up the side of the bag and opened her wings, a hardtop convertible with legs.

We all love our dogs. However, some of us take it a little too far, convincing ourselves that our dogs are actually our children. You call your dog your “baby” one day, and the next thing you know, you’re pushing him or her down the street in an expensive stroller. How did we get here? Trust me, it’s a slippery slope. Here are 12 signs you might have a dog-child.

Alma couldn’t understand why her Yelp reviews were so dismal. She didn’t advertise herself as a magician. She was a hair stylist.

"No self-respecting journalist or publication would ever hire someone who employs the word 'sh--' as a title for anything."

At Monster High, Jimmy Werewolf gets another demerit for forgetting to shave again.