Kate Ryan

Alison learned from her grandmother how a plastic smile could take you places—especially in a place like Hollywood.

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

Someone would always cook in their tighty whities, his package at eye level for the person doing French homework at the kitchen table.

She got too high while watching The Bachelor and had a misanthropic breakdown.

The Gap come autumn: where normcore and film noir cleverly collide.

His mind rode the lines, circling on an endless loop to nowhere as he attempted to go about his activities.

He died a violent death. I saw him myself, flopping between wooden blades, his head bent back strangely.

For the record, I didn’t mean to be born so tall. I didn’t ask for bulky shoulders or a head that doesn’t fit most hats.

One crawled up the side of the bag and opened her wings, a hardtop convertible with legs.

For all of you crazy people that think going to Target is ever a good idea during the holiday season, this is a list on how to survive a shopping trip to Target is for you…