Kate Ryan

12:48 AM. Why would someone schedule an exorcism for the middle of a weeknight?

The case of beer I brought, as my mother explained, is “pure poison” and so I must drink it all by myself.

Eva, having stayed up the whole night preoccupied with death and time, planned to call in sick.

We’ve all been there. Your boyfriend has a raging boner, but you’re just not in the mood to do anything with it. But how do you tell him to tone that boner down and quick? No need to worry. Here are ten simple, foolproof ways to kill that boner in ten seconds—or less—while keeping your man’s ego rock-hard.

As an Uber driver, I have the privilege of talking to and eavesdropping on a sampling of L.A.’s finest, ranging from the clinically insane to the simply self-absorbed. As a writer, there is no end to the amount of inspiration my passengers provide.

“Don’t you smash that cake in my face, or I’ll never forgive you,” she said, and she never did, not really.

She gropes for attention while he dies in the other room.

Writing simply does for me what long walks do for small dogs; it makes me tired and happy.

Someone would always cook in their tighty whities, his package at eye level for the person doing French homework at the kitchen table.

Everywhere you look these days (on Instagram), beautiful pictures abound. From teacups overflowing with succulents to smoothie bowls arranged as art. All while a lavender-haired model casually eats ice cream in front of a stupidly gorgeous Tahitian sunset. All this endless beauty has become a bit dull.