Kate Ryan

Hollywood continues to flounder in a dick-sucking frenzy of self-congratulatory white male directors, writers, and producers.

“You are the naked girl on horse, yes?” he said, approaching her table from across the café patio.

At Monster High, Jimmy Werewolf gets another demerit for forgetting to shave again.

One of my biggest fears is having a random stranger ask me, "how it’s going?" They might as well ask if I’d like to step into their van and get murdered.

Surviving the Apocalypse didn’t mean they couldn’t enjoy a little romance.

He thought I was mad, but in an artistic way; I thought he was horny all the time, but in an artistic way.

She gropes for attention while he dies in the other room.

12:48 AM. Why would someone schedule an exorcism for the middle of a weeknight?

It was a tradition of theirs. When siblings Sue and Johnny went home to their mother’s for Christmas, they watched the 11 o’clock local news.

The bread had to be store-bought and white, of course, so as not to raise a red flag among my classmates. I still see rebellion in a ham sandwich.