Kate Ryan

For all of you crazy people that think going to Target is ever a good idea during the holiday season, this is a list on how to survive a shopping trip to Target is for you…

We’ve all been there. Your boyfriend has a raging boner, but you’re just not in the mood to do anything with it. But how do you tell him to tone that boner down and quick? No need to worry. Here are ten simple, foolproof ways to kill that boner in ten seconds—or less—while keeping your man’s ego rock-hard.

Writing simply does for me what long walks do for small dogs; it makes me tired and happy.

I would send some chocolates, but I’m not allowed anymore since they found the shiv in the birthday cake I sent you.

Fresh orange juice, milk, thick slices of ham, a block of cheese, a carton of eggs—her husband kept it this way should this moment arrive.

My parents got the idea they’d send me to stay at my grandparents’ house in Florida for a week. I think my mother needed a week to herself.

The case of beer I brought, as my mother explained, is “pure poison” and so I must drink it all by myself.

"No self-respecting journalist or publication would ever hire someone who employs the word 'sh--' as a title for anything."

She got too high while watching The Bachelor and had a misanthropic breakdown.

I have no choice but to start all over again, tomorrow or not at all.