Kate Ryan

“You are the naked girl on horse, yes?” he said, approaching her table from across the café patio.

His mind rode the lines, circling on an endless loop to nowhere as he attempted to go about his activities.

Motherhood is easily the toughest, most sacred job on earth. Without moms, the human race simply wouldn’t be here. But personally, I’d rather dangle myself from dental floss over a volcano full of spiders than push another human being out of my body.

We all love our dogs. However, some of us take it a little too far, convincing ourselves that our dogs are actually our children. You call your dog your “baby” one day, and the next thing you know, you’re pushing him or her down the street in an expensive stroller. How did we get here? Trust me, it’s a slippery slope. Here are 12 signs you might have a dog-child.

As an Uber driver, I have the privilege of talking to and eavesdropping on a sampling of L.A.’s finest, ranging from the clinically insane to the simply self-absorbed. As a writer, there is no end to the amount of inspiration my passengers provide.

Okay, so maybe she didn’t really understand feminism.

Everywhere you look these days (on Instagram), beautiful pictures abound. From teacups overflowing with succulents to smoothie bowls arranged as art. All while a lavender-haired model casually eats ice cream in front of a stupidly gorgeous Tahitian sunset. All this endless beauty has become a bit dull.

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

She got too high while watching The Bachelor and had a misanthropic breakdown.

Writing simply does for me what long walks do for small dogs; it makes me tired and happy.