Kate Ryan

Someone would always cook in their tighty whities, his package at eye level for the person doing French homework at the kitchen table.

The bread had to be store-bought and white, of course, so as not to raise a red flag among my classmates. I still see rebellion in a ham sandwich.

Sheila applied widely and on a whim. She needed a job and she needed one fast.

Alison learned from her grandmother how a plastic smile could take you places—especially in a place like Hollywood.

One crawled up the side of the bag and opened her wings, a hardtop convertible with legs.

There are some hipster things that hipsters want us to love, so we’ll join their cult. But we’re done falling for these things because we’re all unique individuals. Here are 10 things you need to avoid right now if you don’t want to be a hipster.

He thought I was mad, but in an artistic way; I thought he was horny all the time, but in an artistic way.

I have no choice but to start all over again, tomorrow or not at all.

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

At Monster High, Jimmy Werewolf gets another demerit for forgetting to shave again.