Kate Ryan

She knows you’re not supposed to call it an “it,” but she honestly can’t tell if it’s a boy or girl or . . . undecided.

“Don’t you smash that cake in my face, or I’ll never forgive you,” she said, and she never did, not really.

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

For all of you crazy people that think going to Target is ever a good idea during the holiday season, this is a list on how to survive a shopping trip to Target is for you…

Recently, it was announced that the Ocean’s Eleven remake will be ladies-only too. Could it be that we’ve embarked on an era in which women take center stage?

His mind rode the lines, circling on an endless loop to nowhere as he attempted to go about his activities.

I saw my old babysitter at a women’s wrestling cage match.

The case of beer I brought, as my mother explained, is “pure poison” and so I must drink it all by myself.

The bread had to be store-bought and white, of course, so as not to raise a red flag among my classmates. I still see rebellion in a ham sandwich.

The birds abandon their posts in the pepper trees, sending tiny, oblong leaves raining to the ground.