Kate Ryan

One of my biggest fears is having a random stranger ask me, "how it’s going?" They might as well ask if I’d like to step into their van and get murdered.

Surviving the Apocalypse didn’t mean they couldn’t enjoy a little romance.

He thought I was mad, but in an artistic way; I thought he was horny all the time, but in an artistic way.

The case of beer I brought, as my mother explained, is “pure poison” and so I must drink it all by myself.

She doesn’t know how to communicate the feeling that all is for nothing, nothing is normal.

I saw my old babysitter at a women’s wrestling cage match.

We all love our dogs. However, some of us take it a little too far, convincing ourselves that our dogs are actually our children. You call your dog your “baby” one day, and the next thing you know, you’re pushing him or her down the street in an expensive stroller. How did we get here? Trust me, it’s a slippery slope. Here are 12 signs you might have a dog-child.

His mind rode the lines, circling on an endless loop to nowhere as he attempted to go about his activities.

At Monster High, Jimmy Werewolf gets another demerit for forgetting to shave again.

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.