Kate Ryan

For the record, I didn’t mean to be born so tall. I didn’t ask for bulky shoulders or a head that doesn’t fit most hats.

At Monster High, Jimmy Werewolf gets another demerit for forgetting to shave again.

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

She doesn’t know how to communicate the feeling that all is for nothing, nothing is normal.

We’ve all been there. Your boyfriend has a raging boner, but you’re just not in the mood to do anything with it. But how do you tell him to tone that boner down and quick? No need to worry. Here are ten simple, foolproof ways to kill that boner in ten seconds—or less—while keeping your man’s ego rock-hard.

For all of you crazy people that think going to Target is ever a good idea during the holiday season, this is a list on how to survive a shopping trip to Target is for you…

My parents got the idea they’d send me to stay at my grandparents’ house in Florida for a week. I think my mother needed a week to herself.

Sheila applied widely and on a whim. She needed a job and she needed one fast.

The case of beer I brought, as my mother explained, is “pure poison” and so I must drink it all by myself.

Eva, having stayed up the whole night preoccupied with death and time, planned to call in sick.