Kate Ryan

I saw my old babysitter at a women’s wrestling cage match.

She gropes for attention while he dies in the other room.

There are some hipster things that hipsters want us to love, so we’ll join their cult. But we’re done falling for these things because we’re all unique individuals. Here are 10 things you need to avoid right now if you don’t want to be a hipster.

My parents got the idea they’d send me to stay at my grandparents’ house in Florida for a week. I think my mother needed a week to herself.

Recently, it was announced that the Ocean’s Eleven remake will be ladies-only too. Could it be that we’ve embarked on an era in which women take center stage?

She got too high while watching The Bachelor and had a misanthropic breakdown.

I would send some chocolates, but I’m not allowed anymore since they found the shiv in the birthday cake I sent you.

One of my biggest fears is having a random stranger ask me, "how it’s going?" They might as well ask if I’d like to step into their van and get murdered.

At Monster High, Jimmy Werewolf gets another demerit for forgetting to shave again.

The birds abandon their posts in the pepper trees, sending tiny, oblong leaves raining to the ground.