Kate Ryan

Motherhood is easily the toughest, most sacred job on earth. Without moms, the human race simply wouldn’t be here. But personally, I’d rather dangle myself from dental floss over a volcano full of spiders than push another human being out of my body.

Alison learned from her grandmother how a plastic smile could take you places—especially in a place like Hollywood.

His mind rode the lines, circling on an endless loop to nowhere as he attempted to go about his activities.

“You are the naked girl on horse, yes?” he said, approaching her table from across the café patio.

We’ve all been there. Your boyfriend has a raging boner, but you’re just not in the mood to do anything with it. But how do you tell him to tone that boner down and quick? No need to worry. Here are ten simple, foolproof ways to kill that boner in ten seconds—or less—while keeping your man’s ego rock-hard.

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

12:48 AM. Why would someone schedule an exorcism for the middle of a weeknight?

Someone would always cook in their tighty whities, his package at eye level for the person doing French homework at the kitchen table.

My tights are cutting me in half at the waist . . . just like a sausage in its casing.

There are some hipster things that hipsters want us to love, so we’ll join their cult. But we’re done falling for these things because we’re all unique individuals. Here are 10 things you need to avoid right now if you don’t want to be a hipster.