Kate Ryan

Motherhood is easily the toughest, most sacred job on earth. Without moms, the human race simply wouldn’t be here. But personally, I’d rather dangle myself from dental floss over a volcano full of spiders than push another human being out of my body.

He died a violent death. I saw him myself, flopping between wooden blades, his head bent back strangely.

His mind rode the lines, circling on an endless loop to nowhere as he attempted to go about his activities.

“Don’t you smash that cake in my face, or I’ll never forgive you,” she said, and she never did, not really.

Writing simply does for me what long walks do for small dogs; it makes me tired and happy.

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

For all of you crazy people that think going to Target is ever a good idea during the holiday season, this is a list on how to survive a shopping trip to Target is for you…

I would send some chocolates, but I’m not allowed anymore since they found the shiv in the birthday cake I sent you.

She doesn’t know how to communicate the feeling that all is for nothing, nothing is normal.

As an Uber driver, I have the privilege of talking to and eavesdropping on a sampling of L.A.’s finest, ranging from the clinically insane to the simply self-absorbed. As a writer, there is no end to the amount of inspiration my passengers provide.