Aneesha Doesn't Take A Chess Match Lightly

"Yesterday a friend of mine beat me at chess. I hadn't played chess in like six years, and he beat me pretty badly –– twice. I guess I was more angry than impressed, but being impressed was rolled up into the anger. I told him that I would like for him to have the same fate as one of the protagonists in a Kurt Vonnegut short story where his anus is essentially ripped apart by a pole sprinkler and all his organs are being pulled through and he's watching as his spleen is coming up before him and he's also in water so it's super floaty and weird. That's kind of the fate that I wished on my chess-playing partner because he beat me so badly."

Editor's Note: Aneesha later contacted us to let us know the story she was thinking of was by Palahniuk, not Vonnegut.