In today's OBESITY IS A WORLDWIDE EPIDEMIC news (that's actually not accurate, read here to find out why the world wants you to go on a diet, also pre-order this book by my friend Jes Baker [who is incidentally one my favorite people EVER]).
Anyway. Apparently a kookaburra, henceforth known as Henry, in Australia ate so many sausages that he could no longer fly. At 540 grams (that's 1.2 pounds for us 'mericans who STILL haven't converted to the metric system) and 40% larger than the average kookaburra, Henry just couldn't get himself off the ground. I guess he almost became dinner for a dog, which is unfortunate, but had he died, he would have gone out happy and full of sausage.
Lessons: birds don't weigh very much, sausages are delicious, and Henry is a pretty good name for a kookaburra.
The following is a video of another kookaburra:
If it sounds like he's laughing, that's because he is. And no sir, it is not OK to fat-shame. If you aren't part of the solution, you're part of the problem. This story is actually five years old, but it's totally relevant, because DIABETES. There is not such thing as "too late" when we are talking about the majesty that is a sausage-addicted kookabura. May his legacy continue forever, since Henry is probably dead now, and it's definitely because of The Diabetes. (A. Birds don't get diabetes. B. The diabetes and obesity correlation is just that, correlative, not necessarily causative. Read here to get educated. And if you don't know the difference between correlation and causation, read here.)
Edited to add: My sister RAEGAN CHAMBERS, a veterinary student at Midwestern University, called to tell me I am apparently WRONG. Birds DO get diabetes. (I don't think it's caused by sausage. But don't quote me on that, RAEGAN.)
Either way, I relate to Henry on a spiritual level because while he is approximately 40% sausage, I am approximately 40% Oreos. Also, I can't fly at all.