Science Says: Risque K-Pop Dance Moves Melt Brains of South Korean Men

South Korea has never been known for its free love, but the country recently revealed its uber conservative underbelly when a collection of K-Pop girl groups (K-Pop = Korean Pop, btw) showcased some Xtina-eque moves on national TV. Girl’s Day was accused of crawling and gazing too provocatively during their anthem, “Something.” The members of AOA unzipped their garments while performing “Miniskirt" and Rainbow Black tapped into some Bob Fosse-like eg splits during “Cha Cha Cha.” 

So offended -- and concerned -- were the broadcasters that they forced the ladies to omit certain "risqué" moves from their performances. And they blamed it on “science."

That’s right. Science. Intent on proving the mind-melting impact of young ladies in motion, the broadcasters grabbed some young male volunteers and hooked them up Clockwork Orange-style to monitors featuring the K-pop girls doing their thing. The experiment was broadcasted on morning show Morning Wide and the (obviously unbiased) results demonstrated that the young men did indeed loose some brain focus.

Clearly, this will be the downfall of the nation. 


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