Fess up. At some point in your life, you have fantasized about your dream wedding. Maybe it was just when you were a little girl digging through a dress-up bin. Or perhaps it began when you started seeing someone amazing. Or maybe you got in the celebratory mood when all those suffocating same-sex marriage bans were finally shot down.
Given the (sometimes sociopathic amount) of hype surrounding nuptials it makes sense that you'd want your day to go swimmingly and what better way to ensure smooth-sailing than with a professional bridesmaid? Say hello to Jen Glantz.
This bubbly broad promises to organize communication lines among the group and ensure a fun time for all. From the engagement party to the actual day, it's Jen's job to remain staunchly by your side and run a tight, party-laden ship.
Despite Jen's undeniably warm smile and sparkly eyes, my first thought upon hearing of her services was a general, "oh hell no woman!" Isn't the entire point of a bridal party that they'll serve as a support group on your big day? Doesn't hiring a beautiful woman with a talent for creating positive social situations undermine the magic of sisterhood or something?
My one bridesmaid experience still leaves me with that warm fuzzy feeling usually reserved for the conclusion of a Full House episode. Shouldn't we seek to preserve the sanctity of this togetherness? When two people marry, it's not just about the couple; it's about the melding of two lives, and bridal parties represent that.
Then again . . .
Jen says that some women just need organization, or their friends can't afford to participate. "Or you don't have any other girlfriends except your third cousin, twice removed, who is often found sticking her tongue down an empty bottle of red wine."
A quick Google search also reveals plenty of online stories detailing less-than-shiny memories of bridesmaid sisterhood:
Long story short, she tried to sabotage my wedding, told my husband that she loved him, refused to buy the shoes, and disappeared the morning of the wedding. Oh, and did I mention she told my husband that she loved him? —FB Melinda
My sister was one of my bridesmaids. She called me 'fat' on the day of the wedding and then caused a huge scene at the reception because her boyfriend snuck alcohol into our church reception so they could both get drunk. —*HoneydewChestnut*
[My friend's bridesmaid] got progressively worse as the afternoon wore on. The reception saw this 'upstart' not only drink too much champagne, crash the bridal waltz and trip over the bride's train but also when making her obligatory speech, she dedicated it to herself and all that she had been through rather than talking fondly of the bride . . . Conveniently forgetting that shaving cream can peel the paint off some cars, the now "spiteful" bridesmaid decided to graffiti obscenities all over the going away car. Charming hey? —femail.com
I bite my tongue. Ladies, don't be ashamed to hire a bridesmaid if you have a troupe of immature, husband-hunting lushes in your potential bridal party to be. No one is perfect, and tearing apart a decades-long friendship over wedding stress is so not worth it; maybe it's better to just leave the partying to the people and the planning to the professionals . . .
Image Courtesy of Craigslist.com