Carrie Saum

As a woman, it feels damn near impossible to be heard sometimes. But we are working hard at this life thing, and we deserve to be taken seriously. Here are five tips to get closer to that goal.

I still wake up every day knowing that no matter how much work I do, as a low-key racist, I will always have more to do. And I’m happy to do it.

If you grew up in a typical Christmas tradition, you probably had the same dinner at Thanksgiving and at Christmas.

On a practical level, being my own guru means that I trust myself. I can forgive myself when I make mistakes, and not get stuck in cycles of shame and despair. I can ask for help when I need it, and seek out important support like professional therapy and support when I can't get out of my own head.

We have all been there before. The stuck place. Your body feels heavy, your feet glued to the floor. Maybe you have a hard time getting out of bed. Maybe you feel sad about a relationship that is deteriorating or has completely dissolved. Maybe you just feel completely spent and worn out, and lack the energy to move at all. Or maybe you have this great big beautiful life you're afraid to step into and the fear has you paralyzed.

Next, juice your blood oranges. Or skip this and buy the juice from the spendy little corner market that sells $8 fair trade chocolate made from cocoa beans harvested purely through meditative thoughts generated by unionized zen monkeys in Thailand. They also sell blood orange juice. You’ll find it next to the $15 cashew milk.

Feelings are important. I don’t mean this in a trite, self-help sort of way. I mean, you have a right to your feelings. Full stop.

I spent most of my life, as many women do, second guessing my gut feelings. I cannot tell you how many opportunities slipped through my fingers, how many bridges were burned, and how much money I have lost or wasted because I skipped the gut feeling. But gut feelings matter just as much as reason and science. Gut feelings are part of the equation, not a separate entity to be discredited entirely just because some people don't understand.

Occasionally, I get confused about the line between cooking and crafting. Spring rolls are in that category. I give myself a pass, though, because even if they look a mess, they taste legit. They also walk that really gorgeous line between being indulgent, healthy, and fun. That just so happens to be my favorite line when it comes to food… and probably sex.

Cookie dough balls are the best answer for my son's summer snack and nutrition needs. I can include my kiddo in the prep, he eats them like they're going out of style, and I know he is getting good fuel for his body and brain while he plays.