Gigi Engle

The vagina is as magical and beautiful as a unicorn gallivanting through a sea of daisies on a warm spring day. Therefore, the vagina should be treated as a magical and beautiful creature: with care love and endless devotion.

I spent much of my childhood fawning over episodes of Star Trek. It was always about Spock for me. Therefore, Star Trek shaped my love life.

Being a woman who does not want to become a mother is still a bit of a cultural anomaly in 2017.

I found that Yoni crystals can apparently put you at risk for toxic shock?!??! And I was like: WHAAAAAT?!?!!?!?

I was such a dipshit in my 20s when it came to sex. If I had a nickel for every orgasm I faked, I wouldn’t owe Uncle Sam an arm and a leg in student loans. TBH, it makes sense that we’d adopt some unsavory sex practices in our younger years. What else are you supposed to do when you’ve been told your entire life to please your partner and just go along with it? Your 20s can be a shy time. You don’t know how to ask for what you want because you fear rejection. It’s time to leave that shit behind.

Certain qualities and personality traits are solid indicators of whether or not you can hack an LDR.

In order to develop a healthy relationship, you’ve got to give a little to get a little. Oral sex is all about giving.

You guys have a lot of trouble dating these days, now that women have this silly notion in their marble-sized brains that they should maybe want to be treated like equals to you. HOW RIDICULOUS. EW! Luckily, you can work around these ideals. Women aren’t really smart enough to comprehend them anyway, you know?

An open letter to that guy at the gym who wants everyone to hear him grunting.

There is no shame in being guarded. There is nothing wrong with it. You do not have to work tirelessly in therapy to break down your natural inclination towards self-preservation in order to find a romantic partner.