Gigi Engle

There is no shame in being guarded. There is nothing wrong with it. You do not have to work tirelessly in therapy to break down your natural inclination towards self-preservation in order to find a romantic partner.

You don’t even have to be a good person to be incredible at sex, apparently (my ex proves this).

You guys have a lot of trouble dating these days, now that women have this silly notion in their marble-sized brains that they should maybe want to be treated like equals to you. HOW RIDICULOUS. EW! Luckily, you can work around these ideals. Women aren’t really smart enough to comprehend them anyway, you know?

Vaginal orgasms are real. But if you want to climax quick? Someone needs to be stimulating the clit with something — usually fingers or a vibrator. Yes, it may mean a little extra work. But a dedicated dude will make it happen.

Sex is amazing, but let’s address the giant pink, dildo in the room: while sex IS super fun, sex is also exhausting. It’s an entire workout in itself.

There are still parts of the world where women/vagina owners aren’t allowed inside their own home or community when they’re menstruating. They’re seen as impure. I believe the scientific term for all of this thinking is “total and utter bull.”

It is a strange thing to find oneself at the tentative intersection of being female, sex positive, and in a long-term, monogamous relationship.

Sex-related health advances, toys, and tech have come a long way from one-size-fits-all-condoms or vibrators that are just varying degrees of the same vibrating stick. NOT ANYMORE.

The vagina is as magical and beautiful as a unicorn gallivanting through a sea of daisies on a warm spring day. Therefore, the vagina should be treated as a magical and beautiful creature: with care love and endless devotion.

I’m a pretty confident lady, and yet, I would never date someone who stayed close friends with their ex. I just wouldn’t.