Gigi Engle

Mastering cunnilingus is something all men should aspire to do. If you’re making any of these eight, monstrous cunnilingus mistakes, here is why they’re terrible and how to fix them. Hurray for happy vaginas!

If someone wants to be with you they should be obsessed with you. This person should not be telling you not to tag them in photos (so people can't see you're together), not texting you for days on end (and not caring if it upsets you), always making you come to his or her neighborhood because he or she doesn’t want to travel. A person who does this is NOT worth your time.

I was such a dipshit in my 20s when it came to sex. If I had a nickel for every orgasm I faked, I wouldn’t owe Uncle Sam an arm and a leg in student loans. TBH, it makes sense that we’d adopt some unsavory sex practices in our younger years. What else are you supposed to do when you’ve been told your entire life to please your partner and just go along with it? Your 20s can be a shy time. You don’t know how to ask for what you want because you fear rejection. It’s time to leave that shit behind.

You guys have a lot of trouble dating these days, now that women have this silly notion in their marble-sized brains that they should maybe want to be treated like equals to you. HOW RIDICULOUS. EW! Luckily, you can work around these ideals. Women aren’t really smart enough to comprehend them anyway, you know?

Men will say they want a smart woman, of course, but the moment they are faced with one; the moment a woman challenges him, or god forbid, proves him wrong, she becomes “hard to deal with,” “too intense” or “crazy.”

Women kind of get a shit deal when it comes to

The vagina is as magical and beautiful as a unicorn gallivanting through a sea of daisies on a warm spring day. Therefore, the vagina should be treated as a magical and beautiful creature: with care love and endless devotion.

By saying all people who identify as women want less sex and men want more, you’re grossly generalizing two large groups in a way that is both scientifically inaccurate and ultimately lidded under unreasonable social pressure.

Blowjobs are good, wholesome, and very sexy fun. While they are enjoyable, I think we all know they don’t call it “job” without reason. It is a J-O-B.

Let’s be real, friends. All sex positions are not created equal. Sex is amazing and fun, but there are certain sexual situations and moves that are better than others.