Jody Allard

Most stories involving robots that have been developed to think and feel end with robot uprisings and the near annihilation of the human race.

The pair has pledged to donate 99 percent of their Facebook shares over the course of their lifetime, which currently amount to about $45 billion. You know, just some pocket change.

Even if the government shuts down, it won't stop funding to Planned Parenthood; Medicaid and Medicare payments (which is how Planned Parenthood receives government funds) will continue on autopilot. It's a line in the sand that has absolutely no impact on the organization, yet would impact thousands of federal employees whose paychecks would stop coming. And is akin to a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Drug addicted, homeless, and hungry don't add up to hilarity. Neither does the system that arrested this woman for stealing $32 worth of food in a country that throws away 263 millions pounds of food every day –– or a news cycle that chews up and spits out the needy for clicks and likes.

No one enters into marriage and becomes whole; there is no magical superpower that's granted alongside the marriage license. Marriage is simply two imperfect people who choose to come together in an imperfect union. That union can be remarkable and powerful, but it can also be dysfunctional and excruciating. Sometimes, it's even abusive.

Here's the thing, though. Seattle teachers didn't want to strike. What they wanted were reasonable class sizes, less focus on teaching to the test, and livable wages. These are fair and reasonable demands, and that is why parents throughout Seattle have rushed to the picket lines to support our teachers.

Obama outlined his new gun control plan this morning and all I have to say is thanks, Obama. It's about goddamn time.

Okay, I know that's not very Christian of me. Luckily, I'm an atheist. But, really, if we are being honest, who doesn't want to punch Kim Davis in the face by now?

Through the years, I've learned that our ideologies matter far less than the quality of the relationships we build with our kids. Your rules and my rules may be entirely different, but if we center our parenting around nurturing and compassion for our kids, we will achieve similar results.

In today's news, the sky is blue, Republican lawmakers are assholes, and the House just voted to defund Planned Parenthood. Again.