Jody Allard

In today's WTF science news, two separate studies suggest that modern allergies may stem from long ago human-Neanderthal sex. Thanks, Obama.

In case you live on Mars, which is the only possible way you've missed the shitshow that is Kim Davis, this isn't Davis's first rodeo. Oh no, Davis was released from jail earlier this week after she was found in contempt of court for refusing to issue marriage licenses. This order came not just from the local courts, but was backed by the god damn Supreme Court of the United States. Because, you know, you should totally ignore the highest court in the fucking nation.

Once upon a time, a band of heavily-armed men decided to take over an Oregon federal building. Because they were white, the Feds didn't shoot them in 12 seconds, and nobody even really did anything about it. (Possibly also because these intrepid defenders of our Constitution decided to seize a bird sanctuary.)

The pair has pledged to donate 99 percent of their Facebook shares over the course of their lifetime, which currently amount to about $45 billion. You know, just some pocket change.

When I first heard about the mass shooting in San Bernadino, I wanted to write something meaningful and thought-provoking.

Singer Ciara performed the national anthem before last night's college football national championship game, but it's not her vocal prowess making headlines today –– it's her boobs

ICYMI, it's International Men's Day today. And while your first response to that might be an eye-roll at the idea of men needing a day to celebrate their privilege, here's why it matters:

No, really. It turns out that incredibly strong viruses have been chilling in the arctic (see what I did there?) for millennia, and NOW they are being uncovered by the melting of the ice.

"Ultimately, it doesn't matter much whether Bland killed herself or was murdered. In both cases, she died because she was hauled into custody for a minor offense that didn't really even merit being pulled over to begin with. Maybe her head injury led to uncharacteristic behavior, or maybe the traumatic arrest triggered a severe PTSD episode, or maybe someone flat out killed her. But, in every case, she died because she was in that police cell."

One White House staffer took off his gloves, shredded them, and lit their tattered remains on fire when he told reporters that Trump's comments "disqualified him" from the presidency and that his candidacy will soon be relegated to the "dustbin of history."