Jody Allard

Jody Allard

Bio

Jody Allard is a former techie turned freelance writer living in Seattle. Her online work has appeared on Time, xoJane, and Offbeat Home, among others. She writes primarily about food, family, mothering, and life with a chronic illness. 

Jody Allard Articles

Obama Is Finally Taking Away Your Guns (Thank God!)

Obama outlined his new gun control plan this morning and all I have to say is thanks, Obama. It's about goddamn time.

Read...

Man Punches Elderly Costco Shopper In The Face Over Nutella Waffle Samples

If you're anything like me, the only enjoyable part of shopping at Costco is the samples. It's always packed, there's nowhere to park, people push their massive fucking carts slower than molasses in January, and everything about it makes me homicidal EXCEPT for the sweet, sweet lure of the samples.

Read...

Pope Francis' New Policy on Abortion "Forgiveness" Misses The Mark

While this is, of course, better than excommunicating women for their reproductive choices, it is still founded on the premise that abortion is a sin and that men in power must absolve women of their mistakes. It also continues to paint women as incapable of understanding their options and making autonomous choices for their bodies and their lives.

Read...
Bernie being Bernie.

Bernie Sanders Thinks Women Should Stay Home With Their Babies

Let me repeat that, just in case you missed it. Bernie Sanders said that a mother "should stay home" with her baby. When I first heard that sentence, I looked at my teenagers, and began yelling, "Mothers?! Should?!" My oldest son, who is 17 now, shrugged and replied, "Well, they should stay home with their babies, right? I mean, isn't that a good thing?"

Read...

I Was Born Without A Hand And Don't Want A 3D Prosthetic

I was born without fingers on my right hand. No one knows why, even now, 36 years later. It just happened, as these things sometimes do.

Read...

Your Allergies May Come From Your Ancestors' Sex With Neanderthals

In today's WTF science news, two separate studies suggest that modern allergies may stem from long ago human-Neanderthal sex. Thanks, Obama.

Read...

Study Finds That You're Probably Eating Horse and Beaver

In case ground meat wasn't sketchy enough, a new study by Chapman University found that as much as twenty percent of specialty ground meats are mislabeled –– and many include ground horse and even beaver.

Read...

World's First Surviving Septuplets Turn 18, Proving We're All Really Old

In 1997, Kenny and Bobbi McCaughey made history when they welcomed the first set of surviving septuplets to the world. Now, 18 years later, as the septuplets prepare to leave the nest, the world has only one question: "How the hell did we all get so old?"

Read...

School Bans Tag At Recess And Childhood Is Officially Dead

It's hard to think of anything more synonymous with childhood than playing tag.

Read...