Jody Allard

Jody Allard

Bio

Jody Allard is a former techie turned freelance writer living in Seattle. Her online work has appeared on Time, xoJane, and Offbeat Home, among others. She writes primarily about food, family, mothering, and life with a chronic illness. 

Jody Allard Articles

World's First Surviving Septuplets Turn 18, Proving We're All Really Old

In 1997, Kenny and Bobbi McCaughey made history when they welcomed the first set of surviving septuplets to the world. Now, 18 years later, as the septuplets prepare to leave the nest, the world has only one question: "How the hell did we all get so old?"

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Don't be fooled. She's actually pushing that child onto the bus.

25 Signs That You're Beyond Ready To Send Your Kids Back To School

"I don't know what I was smoking in June, but it's August now. I've bonded with my kids until we can't bond anymore, and I'm thisclose to booking a one-way ticket to anywhere but here. I love my kids dearly, but I appreciate them even more when I have time to myself, too. I think that's called balance, and I'm pretty sure it's a good thing."

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Oregon Reminds Us It's Good To Be White In America

In case you forgot how good it is to be white in America, Oregon has you covered. After a group of armed lunatics in rural Oregon seized a federal wildlife building, the FBI announced Sunday that it's working to bring a "peaceful" end to the "situation."

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Man Punches Elderly Costco Shopper In The Face Over Nutella Waffle Samples

If you're anything like me, the only enjoyable part of shopping at Costco is the samples. It's always packed, there's nowhere to park, people push their massive fucking carts slower than molasses in January, and everything about it makes me homicidal EXCEPT for the sweet, sweet lure of the samples.

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Wal-Mart Stopped Caring About Your Gun Rights

Wal-Mart, home to broken dreams, poor fashion choices, and a whole lot of guns.

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Bernie Sanders (image credit: Gage Skidmore)

White Liberals, Black Lives Matter Protesters Are Targeting Bernie Sanders (And Us) For A Reason

While Sanders is better than the clown car of horrors that is the Republican crop of presidential candidates, he's failed to listen to the BLM movement or even respond to protesters — twice.

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"I'm Especially Proud When You're At Your Worst": A Letter To My Teenage Daughter

You're 15 years old now. You're not a little girl anymore—even though you wish you were, just a little bit.

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Can we all just agree that tiaras are great, no matter who's wearing them?

Boys Don't Dress Up As Women On Halloween — And What That Means For Equality

And that's when it hit me: It's okay for girls to aspire to be like boys, but it's categorically not okay for boys to aspire to be like girls.

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Rapper Drake Wants To Be More Like Breakup Queen Adele

In news that makes you go hmmmm, rapper Drake told "W Art" that he want

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Planned Parenthood (photo credit: Women's eNews)

Why We Should Thank Planned Parenthood, Not Defund It

". . . it is illegal to sell fetal tissue, but it is perfectly legal to receive compensation for the time and expense involved in collecting, preparing, storing, and transporting tissue for research purposes. This is well-established in the rules and regulations surrounding organ and tissue donation. Similar regulations also make it illegal to sell children, but legal to compensate parents for medical care and expenses incurred during an adoption."

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