Jody Allard

Billboard magazine proved that it's never too early to start sexualizing young girls when they tweeted a picture of two-year-old North West (daughter of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West) sucking on a lollipop with the caption, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Ugh.

I was born without fingers on my right hand. No one knows why, even now, 36 years later. It just happened, as these things sometimes do.

In case you live on Mars, which is the only possible way you've missed the shitshow that is Kim Davis, this isn't Davis's first rodeo. Oh no, Davis was released from jail earlier this week after she was found in contempt of court for refusing to issue marriage licenses. This order came not just from the local courts, but was backed by the god damn Supreme Court of the United States. Because, you know, you should totally ignore the highest court in the fucking nation.

Obama outlined his new gun control plan this morning and all I have to say is thanks, Obama. It's about goddamn time.

If you don't know who the Holderness family is and have somehow managed to miss their series of painfully awkward viral videos, congratulations! You haven't missed much.

Let me repeat that, just in case you missed it. Bernie Sanders said that a mother "should stay home" with her baby. When I first heard that sentence, I looked at my teenagers, and began yelling, "Mothers?! Should?!" My oldest son, who is 17 now, shrugged and replied, "Well, they should stay home with their babies, right? I mean, isn't that a good thing?"

Photo Credit: Elizabeth Boyce

You can stop talking now. Ssshhhh.

After sorting through all of the reasons why people claim that dress codes are needed, I can't find a single one that holds any weight or that isn't founded in strangely Victorian ideals about girl's bodies.