Joni Edelman

My cocktail is wrong. It’s a gin and tonic with only gin. It’s a martini with 10 olives. And I can’t stand the sun. Not today. Not this month.

Actually, no, I'm not a gluttonous moron.

How do I raise a boy to love and respect all women regardless of size in a world where he is bombarded with images of what is attractive?

You can work your butt off and still be left with a tummy. Bummer.

It seems that "at 18 months, almost 60% of toddlers were sleeping for 13 to 14 hours per night." HAHA you're so funny Reuters!

[CN: suicide, overdose] Gratitude stops me from ending my life, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting to end my life. Even the fierce love I have for my family doesn’t mean I don’t feel utterly hopeless sometimes.

I didn't get a lot of mothering as a child, but when I did, it was from her. She taught me how to sew, how to crochet. She taught me how to stand up for myself, to be tough. She taught me how to make fried chicken and fried okra, which I will never make, because it's fucking gross.

My husband and I recently traveled together without our kids for the first time . . . in a while. And it was a brand-new ball game.

I'll let you in on a little secret - being thin didn't make me happy, but being "Fat" does! Be fat and happy. Be unapologetically fat.

Suffering is America’s favorite thing to do. We starve ourselves to lose weight, and we’re a success story. We don’t sleep, and we’re just getting SO MUCH DONE. We do a thousand things a day and involve our kids in a thousand activities, because somehow, in some perverted way, that makes us successful.