Joni Edelman

And what’s better than eggs? Eggs direct from the cloaca of your own chicken.

Misogyny is pervasive. And my three boys are living it all.

Look, I'm not saying McDonald's did this themselves, I'm just saying, a lot of the people that work there probably agree.

Good god, where will I ever find someone who will love me in such a pitiful condition?

Actually, no, I'm not a gluttonous moron.

You should know that she is a really awesome human.

The argument against homeschooling is always the same: “Kids need to socialize.”

My cocktail is wrong. It’s a gin and tonic with only gin. It’s a martini with 10 olives. And I can’t stand the sun. Not today. Not this month.

My husband and I recently traveled together without our kids for the first time . . . in a while. And it was a brand-new ball game.

Suffering is America’s favorite thing to do. We starve ourselves to lose weight, and we’re a success story. We don’t sleep, and we’re just getting SO MUCH DONE. We do a thousand things a day and involve our kids in a thousand activities, because somehow, in some perverted way, that makes us successful.