Joni Edelman

Body politics activist. Photographer. Chronic quoter of Monty Python. Unapologetic fat chick.

They will 

The Cabbage Soup Diet, aka The "Torture” Diet. You just put cabbage in water and cook it. And you eat it. All day. It is not good. You will still be hungry, and farting — very smelly, paint-peeling farting.

Sleep is everything! It's so much more than just feeling like you can function well. You know that but do you know how to sleep for your dosha type?

I didn't get a lot of mothering as a child, but when I did, it was from her. She taught me how to sew, how to crochet. She taught me how to stand up for myself, to be tough. She taught me how to make fried chicken and fried okra, which I will never make, because it's fucking gross.

You can work your butt off and still be left with a tummy. Bummer.

4. A high school government class.

Good god, where will I ever find someone who will love me in such a pitiful condition?

Having kids doesn't have to mean the death of your sex life.

Attention Civilians: Colonel David Iverson does not want to see your boobs.