Kate Ryan

“You are the naked girl on horse, yes?” he said, approaching her table from across the café patio.

The birds abandon their posts in the pepper trees, sending tiny, oblong leaves raining to the ground.

He thought I was mad, but in an artistic way; I thought he was horny all the time, but in an artistic way.

Someone would always cook in their tighty whities, his package at eye level for the person doing French homework at the kitchen table.

We all love our dogs. However, some of us take it a little too far, convincing ourselves that our dogs are actually our children. You call your dog your “baby” one day, and the next thing you know, you’re pushing him or her down the street in an expensive stroller. How did we get here? Trust me, it’s a slippery slope. Here are 12 signs you might have a dog-child.

Everyone wants to have the funny tweets because people equate them with wealth, power, and beauty. The problem is, we’re not all funny.

One of my biggest fears is having a random stranger ask me, "how it’s going?" They might as well ask if I’d like to step into their van and get murdered.

I have no choice but to start all over again, tomorrow or not at all.

“Don’t you smash that cake in my face, or I’ll never forgive you,” she said, and she never did, not really.

My tights are cutting me in half at the waist . . . just like a sausage in its casing.