Kate Ryan

Hollywood continues to flounder in a dick-sucking frenzy of self-congratulatory white male directors, writers, and producers.

For all of you crazy people that think going to Target is ever a good idea during the holiday season, this is a list on how to survive a shopping trip to Target is for you…

His mind rode the lines, circling on an endless loop to nowhere as he attempted to go about his activities.

Is flagging potentially offensive material taking the PC movement too far?

“Don’t you smash that cake in my face, or I’ll never forgive you,” she said, and she never did, not really.

The case of beer I brought, as my mother explained, is “pure poison” and so I must drink it all by myself.

He thought I was mad, but in an artistic way; I thought he was horny all the time, but in an artistic way.

Motherhood is easily the toughest, most sacred job on earth. Without moms, the human race simply wouldn’t be here. But personally, I’d rather dangle myself from dental floss over a volcano full of spiders than push another human being out of my body.

The bread had to be store-bought and white, of course, so as not to raise a red flag among my classmates. I still see rebellion in a ham sandwich.

You could take this easy, informative quiz to find out with whom you side on important legislative issues and social policies. Or you could go my route and pick your candidate based on what dinosaur they resemble.