Kate Ryan

Hollywood continues to flounder in a dick-sucking frenzy of self-congratulatory white male directors, writers, and producers.

Surviving the Apocalypse didn’t mean they couldn’t enjoy a little romance.

A bloated mother in her polka dot one-piece gnaws on a corndog while reading the romantic pulp she picked up on her way out of the supermarket . . .

One crawled up the side of the bag and opened her wings, a hardtop convertible with legs.

Everyone wants to have the funny tweets because people equate them with wealth, power, and beauty. The problem is, we’re not all funny.

The birds abandon their posts in the pepper trees, sending tiny, oblong leaves raining to the ground.

Like booster engines emptied of fuel, my limbs become disposable, useless tanks as the blood rushes from them.

We’ve all been there. Your boyfriend has a raging boner, but you’re just not in the mood to do anything with it. But how do you tell him to tone that boner down and quick? No need to worry. Here are ten simple, foolproof ways to kill that boner in ten seconds—or less—while keeping your man’s ego rock-hard.

Alma couldn’t understand why her Yelp reviews were so dismal. She didn’t advertise herself as a magician. She was a hair stylist.

He died a violent death. I saw him myself, flopping between wooden blades, his head bent back strangely.