Kate Ryan

I saw my old babysitter at a women’s wrestling cage match.

The bread had to be store-bought and white, of course, so as not to raise a red flag among my classmates. I still see rebellion in a ham sandwich.

She doesn’t know how to communicate the feeling that all is for nothing, nothing is normal.

Hollywood continues to flounder in a dick-sucking frenzy of self-congratulatory white male directors, writers, and producers.

For the record, I didn’t mean to be born so tall. I didn’t ask for bulky shoulders or a head that doesn’t fit most hats.

He thought I was mad, but in an artistic way; I thought he was horny all the time, but in an artistic way.

Alison learned from her grandmother how a plastic smile could take you places—especially in a place like Hollywood.

For all of you crazy people that think going to Target is ever a good idea during the holiday season, this is a list on how to survive a shopping trip to Target is for you…

Someone would always cook in their tighty whities, his package at eye level for the person doing French homework at the kitchen table.

Everyone wants to have the funny tweets because people equate them with wealth, power, and beauty. The problem is, we’re not all funny.