Kate Ryan

We all love our dogs. However, some of us take it a little too far, convincing ourselves that our dogs are actually our children. You call your dog your “baby” one day, and the next thing you know, you’re pushing him or her down the street in an expensive stroller. How did we get here? Trust me, it’s a slippery slope. Here are 12 signs you might have a dog-child.

One crawled up the side of the bag and opened her wings, a hardtop convertible with legs.

Okay, so maybe she didn’t really understand feminism.

I have no choice but to start all over again, tomorrow or not at all.

My parents got the idea they’d send me to stay at my grandparents’ house in Florida for a week. I think my mother needed a week to herself.

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

Hollywood continues to flounder in a dick-sucking frenzy of self-congratulatory white male directors, writers, and producers.

"No self-respecting journalist or publication would ever hire someone who employs the word 'sh--' as a title for anything."

12:48 AM. Why would someone schedule an exorcism for the middle of a weeknight?

Writing simply does for me what long walks do for small dogs; it makes me tired and happy.