Kate Ryan

She got too high while watching The Bachelor and had a misanthropic breakdown.

Someone would always cook in their tighty whities, his package at eye level for the person doing French homework at the kitchen table.

He died a violent death. I saw him myself, flopping between wooden blades, his head bent back strangely.

Recently, it was announced that the Ocean’s Eleven remake will be ladies-only too. Could it be that we’ve embarked on an era in which women take center stage?

“You are the naked girl on horse, yes?” he said, approaching her table from across the café patio.

We all love our dogs. However, some of us take it a little too far, convincing ourselves that our dogs are actually our children. You call your dog your “baby” one day, and the next thing you know, you’re pushing him or her down the street in an expensive stroller. How did we get here? Trust me, it’s a slippery slope. Here are 12 signs you might have a dog-child.

Writing simply does for me what long walks do for small dogs; it makes me tired and happy.

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

Is flagging potentially offensive material taking the PC movement too far?

I would send some chocolates, but I’m not allowed anymore since they found the shiv in the birthday cake I sent you.