Kate Ryan

I would send some chocolates, but I’m not allowed anymore since they found the shiv in the birthday cake I sent you.

She gropes for attention while he dies in the other room.

12:48 AM. Why would someone schedule an exorcism for the middle of a weeknight?

She got too high while watching The Bachelor and had a misanthropic breakdown.

You could take this easy, informative quiz to find out with whom you side on important legislative issues and social policies. Or you could go my route and pick your candidate based on what dinosaur they resemble.

Writing simply does for me what long walks do for small dogs; it makes me tired and happy.

One crawled up the side of the bag and opened her wings, a hardtop convertible with legs.

I saw my old babysitter at a women’s wrestling cage match.

She knows you’re not supposed to call it an “it,” but she honestly can’t tell if it’s a boy or girl or . . . undecided.

Like booster engines emptied of fuel, my limbs become disposable, useless tanks as the blood rushes from them.