Melissa Lovitz

Oh, you didn’t know? Perhaps it’s because one of the best-kept secrets about adulting is that, most of the time, nobody knows what they’re doing.

So, if you’re out there in the world feeling broken, and questioning if you’re the only one who doesn’t “get it”, or if you’re eager to learn more about asexuality so you can be a better ally to the LGBTQIA+ community, here are three things that helped me claim and learn about my asexual identity.

Something changed for me when I heard my friend say, “I run so I can eat.” I run so I can cope, so I can feel invincible, so I can think. And so, in a surprising change of events, I challenged them politely and asked, “What would change if, instead, you ate so you can run?”

We get it! You’re busy... In a culture literally driven by productivity, a sense of busyness seems like a prerequisite to being your most productive self.

My relationship with body is anything but “typical.” So far, I’ve hated my body at every size — and not just because of my size.

The trick to successful bullet journaling, in my mind, is to avoid getting caught up in the fanciness of it! Of course, you can make your bullet journal as complex or minimalist as you want, but I’d recommend starting slow. Allow your bullet journaling practice to morph to your needs.

I’ve been struggling to understand if I’m a “bad queer” or a “bad feminist” and sometimes, I think I am!

I could link to several sites that list countless questions you should ask in a job interview, but I fear that would be a waste of your time, and condescending to your Google search talents. Instead, I’ll offer this: Make sure you have two or three quality questions prepped to ask at your job interview.

I have OCD and I focus incessantly on time as a proxy for order an

It’s frustrating that most identities on the asexuality spectrum are qualified by a “lack” of something — desire, intimacy, attraction. I wonder, what might happen for demisexual (or asexual) people if we turn our focus toward what relationships contain, rather than what they’re missing.