Melissa Lovitz

It’s frustrating that most identities on the asexuality spectrum are qualified by a “lack” of something — desire, intimacy, attraction. I wonder, what might happen for demisexual (or asexual) people if we turn our focus toward what relationships contain, rather than what they’re missing.

I’ve been struggling to understand if I’m a “bad queer” or a “bad feminist” and sometimes, I think I am!

I don’t identify with the heterosexual norms that have been shoved down my throat and the pathologizing rhetoric that, for most of my life, shrieked "you’re broken," and then I was publicly ostracized by a person who identifies as part of "the community" — the same community I feel connected to.

Because it's true: Practice really does make perfect.

Sexual attraction is not the only type of physical attraction, AND aesthetic attraction is not the same as sexual attraction!

“I Choose Authenticity.” 

#YouKnowYoureAFeministWhen… It’s the punchline to a good joke. It’s the start of catchy Twitter hashtag. Right?

We get it! You’re busy... In a culture literally driven by productivity, a sense of busyness seems like a prerequisite to being your most productive self.

So, if you’re out there in the world feeling broken, and questioning if you’re the only one who doesn’t “get it”, or if you’re eager to learn more about asexuality so you can be a better ally to the LGBTQIA+ community, here are three things that helped me claim and learn about my asexual identity.

3. Do you masturbate? First, what each person does with or to their body is nobody else’s business. Remember, asexuality is about sexual attraction not necessarily sexual desire or arousal. Simply put, most asexual people can experience sexual arousal; some asexuals masturbate and some do not.