Melissa Lovitz

We get it! You’re busy... In a culture literally driven by productivity, a sense of busyness seems like a prerequisite to being your most productive self.

So, if you’re out there in the world feeling broken, and questioning if you’re the only one who doesn’t “get it”, or if you’re eager to learn more about asexuality so you can be a better ally to the LGBTQIA+ community, here are three things that helped me claim and learn about my asexual identity.

3. Do you masturbate? First, what each person does with or to their body is nobody else’s business. Remember, asexuality is about sexual attraction not necessarily sexual desire or arousal. Simply put, most asexual people can experience sexual arousal; some asexuals masturbate and some do not.

It’s frustrating that most identities on the asexuality spectrum are qualified by a “lack” of something — desire, intimacy, attraction. I wonder, what might happen for demisexual (or asexual) people if we turn our focus toward what relationships contain, rather than what they’re missing.

I’m breaking up with meticulously measuring meals, miles, minutes, etc. I’m worn-out by the fatigue that follows the cycles of fixation. These cycles disguise themselves as control and help me define myself within parameters that feel palpable – things I can wrap my head around.

I’ve been struggling to understand if I’m a “bad queer” or a “bad feminist” and sometimes, I think I am!

I have OCD and I focus incessantly on time as a proxy for order an

Something changed for me when I heard my friend say, “I run so I can eat.” I run so I can cope, so I can feel invincible, so I can think. And so, in a surprising change of events, I challenged them politely and asked, “What would change if, instead, you ate so you can run?”

Oh, you didn’t know? Perhaps it’s because one of the best-kept secrets about adulting is that, most of the time, nobody knows what they’re doing.

Sexual attraction is not the only type of physical attraction, AND aesthetic attraction is not the same as sexual attraction!