Rebekah Kuschmider

I’ve never read the Quran or attended a Mosque, but I’m pretty certain that if anyone had the chance to speak directly with the god Allah or the Prophet Muhammad, they would not be saying “Bitches be crazy, yo. Keep them bitches down.”

Yesterday, the Republican National Convention kicked off in Cleveland, Ohio. One of my friends predicted it would be a spectacle of epic proportions, involving pyrotechnics, all-female military drills teams reminiscent of Ghadaffi’s personal guard, and jungle cats.

We already know that white supremacists made their appearance by torchlight, guns in plain sight, so we would all see, unmistakably, that racist filth is here and they are not afraid to show their faces. They have showed us how far they are willing to go. But stay strong and vigilant. We must be the better angels of America.

The online company just announced that any employee is eligible for 26 weeks of paid leave after the birth or adoption of a child. That’s six whole months of paid leave!

The big additions are in the food category, where we’ll see the much-longed-for bacon finally appear, along with clinking champagne glasses and a potato. Sounds like a meal to me!

Finally, and this is very very important because it’s how feminism might go viral among men, you have to remain a feminist even when no women are around. That means, when you’re in a group of all guys and someone say something sexist as fuck, instead of laughing, you have to say “Dude. That was sexist as fuck.”

“You know, in my next life, when I come back, I want to be someone in the WTA because they ride on the coattails of the men. They don't make any decisions, and they are lucky. They are very, very lucky. If I was a lady player, I'd go down every night on my knees and thank God that Roger Federer and Rafa Nadal were born because they have carried this sport. They really have.”

CANCER NEEDS TO KEEP ITS GRUBBY MITTS OFF OF OUR ARTISTIC LEGENDS, DAMMIT.

Last night, there was a minor disturbance in the political force when Kathleen Kennedy Townsend, former Lieutenant Gove

Last night, Donald Trump’s pick for Secretary of Education was in the hot seat during her confirmation hearing.