Rebekah Kuschmider

Hopeful readers, may I present to you, the three-time mayor of Cormorant, Minnesota: DUKE!

30% of girls who took purity pledges experienced pregnancy before marriage. To put that into perspective: only 18% of non-pledgers experienced pregnancy before marriage.

Allegedly, Botox in the scrotum can relax the scrotal sack and allow the balls to drop more, making them look more prominent. It also makes the scrotum less wrinkly. The guy in the video was pleased with the results and said his girlfriend was pleased as well. Same with the guy in Cosmo. So, that’s two happy customers who were willing to share their experience with the world wide web.

And you can even bring your dog to the dog!

So, I got up on Saturday morning, got myself a cup of coffee, opened Facebook and was almost immediately rewarded with a live image of a giraffe in

Attendees of the Sanders event stood along the street when Clinton’s motorcade arrived and threw 1,000 $1 bills at her vehicle. Twitter was alight with notices about “making it rain” on Hillary’s car. I have questions.

Some of Republican senators' discomfort with voting for their health bill is due to groups of frantic activists who have been pummeling the Senate phone lines, showing up at Senate offices, and even staging a “People’s Filibuster” by rallying on the steps of the Capitol. All of them are begging their elected officials to represent the interests of the sick and the poor, not just the rich and powerful.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled #FurballFriday to bring you news that retired General Mike Flynn, the disgraced former National Security Advis

The manatees were engaged in a little mutual oral pleasure — or, as the kids call it, 69. Way to go, manatees!

Yesterday, Speaker of the House Paul Ryan motioned for a moment of silence for the Orlando shooting victims. But some of his colleagues weren’t having it.