Rebekah Kuschmider

Not too many people would talk about childbirth and say, “Longer labor? More pushing?

I got a puppy last fall, and I’ve spent about a zillion dollars on different things for her to chew. She really likes bully sticks, which are dehydrated bull penises. It cracks me up every time I give one to her and say, “Here. Go eat a dick.”

When I need a moment to feel better about everything around me, I type “dogs” into the search field of my news app and wait for the magic to happen. Dogs always come through, and today is no different.

Last night was the Super Bowl and the New England Patriots did their thing to score a come-from-behind victory over the Atlanta Falcons.

The good news is that we seem to be gaining adult supervision in the White House for the moment. And in Congress. And also at the FBI.

If the first line of your personal dating profile reads: “Must love combovers, bankruptcy court, and misogyny,” have I got good news for you! There is now a special dating site just for singles who support Donald Trump.

This year, as a special treat from Mother Nature, who appears to be pro-choice, there will be a blizzard bearing down on DC as the marchers do their anti-choice thing. Now, I’m a long time DC area resident. I’ve seen a lot of these marches, and there are a few things I know:

There is a working group of 14 Republican men and one Republican woman (the woman was added after the outcry about the original all-male revue-style workgroup got loud enough) who are creating the Senate version of the bill in secret. Behind closed doors. No hearings to discuss major points of the law. No input from stakeholder groups like hospitals, patient advocacy groups, doctors, or insurance companies. No input from Senate Democrats.

In the midst of this firestorm was poor Rachael Ray, who has never been linked to JayZ in any way. The only thing she did was have a name similar to Rachel Roy, so she’s feeling the sting. Lemons and bees keep appearing in her comments sections. Hopefully, her signature humor will rule the day and she’ll invent a lemon-honey dessert called Becky Bars to show us she’s not mad.

Is there anything better than baby animals? No, there is not. Baby animals are the best.