Rebekah Kuschmider

In an exceedingly weird story, parents of an unnamed 14 year old girl filed suit against Avenues: The World School, a private school in New York City, after their daughter was caught vaping in the bathroom with Fatima Ptacek, the voice of Dora.

One hopes that the tweet was composed by a 19-year-old intern who thought it would make his frat buddies laugh when he goes back for the fall semester. One also hopes that an adult sent said intern packing the minute he clicked “tweet.”

Phyllis Schlafly, a beneficiary of feminism, died Monday at the age of 92. She was surrounded by her family.

While the pirates of old were famous for having parrots on their shoulders, Instagram sensation Guirec Soudée, a 24-year-old French man, has spent two years sailing around the world with a bird of a different feather — his pet chicken Monique.

It was only a matter of time before virtual reality brought us the sex toy of the future. That time, apparently, is now.

The revolution will be tweeted. By scientists.

The race itself was anti-climactic because it wasn’t a race. It was basically two heats of a race. First, scientists convinced a wild great white to chase a hunk of fake seal meat for 100 meters so they could time it. Then Phelps donned a specially designed shark suit and swam the exact same route.

According to the Daily Mail, that’s the lesson animal experts at the Berlin Zoo have learned from Stan and Ollie, two king penguins who were supposed to be part of the zoo’s penguin breeding program. Instead of mating with female penguins and perpetuating their species as zoo officials hoped they would do, Stan and Ollie pair-bonded with one another.

Understanding that systems of oppression tend to cast a wide net is the easy part. Next is the hard part: How do we as feminists work to position ourselves within the intersection of marginalized peoples and make sure we’re working with them, instead of stepping on them to get ahead?

Allegedly, Botox in the scrotum can relax the scrotal sack and allow the balls to drop more, making them look more prominent. It also makes the scrotum less wrinkly. The guy in the video was pleased with the results and said his girlfriend was pleased as well. Same with the guy in Cosmo. So, that’s two happy customers who were willing to share their experience with the world wide web.