Rebekah Kuschmider

We interrupt this dumpster fire that is the United States of America in 2017 to bring you what is probably the most horrifying news in the history

Got a kink? Think you’re weird because of it? Turns out, nah. Kink is in!

Today’s #FurballFriday is brought to you courtesy of my children.

The race itself was anti-climactic because it wasn’t a race. It was basically two heats of a race. First, scientists convinced a wild great white to chase a hunk of fake seal meat for 100 meters so they could time it. Then Phelps donned a specially designed shark suit and swam the exact same route.

Put on your robes, grab your spell books, and get down to the Great Hall! It’s breakfast time at Hogwarts!

Apparently, the trend of very sheer tops that allow the nipple to make its presence known is the inspiration for this new twist on cosmetic surgery. Celebs have been photographed with nips in evidence, and people are bringing the photos to doctors' offices to say: “Give me these nipples, pretty please.”

My god, that is IT! The GOP has finally unveiled their crack public health analysis and they are going after the root of all health problems!

“Sometimes a lady has to be told when she’s being nasty.”

Today, the new President-elect announced that he was tapping Georgia Republican Representative Tom Price as his Secretary of Health and Human Services. An outspoken critic of the Affordable Care Act, the move is seen by many as an indication that the Trump administration intends to get real serious, real fast about repealing and replacing the law known as Obamacare.

Someone is going to try and tell you that John McCain saved Obamacare. Or Lisa Murkowski. Or Susan Collins. But it was you. YOU.