Rebekah Kuschmider

We interrupt this dumpster fire that is the United States of America in 2017 to bring you what is probably the most horrifying news in the history

You could probably look on the internet and find people whining about the changes, but I’m in too good a mood about seeing women and minorities on my money to go looking for bigots and their rainy damn parades.

I can’t speak for all feminists but I don’t have any guns for two reasons. First, I don’t hunt because I don’t want to eat any of the kinds of meat one can shoot in my region. Second, I have little kids. I know some people think having a gun around is a great way to protect little kids from potential threats but I see them as threats in and of themselves.

Call me when Starbucks is serving a drink laced with cyanide and then I’ll join you in outrage.

Massachusetts couple Lauri and Cari Ryding came home from vacation to find their porch a mess. Someone had egged their house. They were targeted because they’re gay — the vandals made their hate apparent by also stealing the Ryding’s rainbow flag.

Your body is smart as hell and it does not want you to die. If you start depriving it of fuel, it will slow down the rate at which you burn fuel and step up the desire to provide it with more fuel. In others words, you’ll burn fewer calories and you’ll be hungry all the time.

Michelle Obama is writing a book!!!!!!!!

Your kitty may be making you kinky.

The man who launched 1,000 memes will be leaving government after 43 years of service, first as a Senator from Delaware, then as Obama’s right hand man.

The Congressional baseball game has been happening for over 100 years. It is a highlight of summer among Beltway folks. And during this morning's practice, some fuckwit opened fire. And he shot people who could have been my husband, or any of his bosses, or any of his coworkers, or any of our myriad friends on the Hill. And I am shattered.