Rebekah Kuschmider

Who doesn’t dream of retiring from their day job and relocating to the Caribbean? Well, soon the dolphins at the National Aquarium in Baltimore will get to do just that.

“Wait,” you’re saying. “Was that ever a question? How many votes are we supposed to get? I only get one. Is there a BOGO sale on votes somewhere? Why is this before the Supreme Court at all?”

The race itself was anti-climactic because it wasn’t a race. It was basically two heats of a race. First, scientists convinced a wild great white to chase a hunk of fake seal meat for 100 meters so they could time it. Then Phelps donned a specially designed shark suit and swam the exact same route.

Friends, I would like to announce that we have reached Peak Fall. How do I know this? Because I have discovered that there is pumpkin spice flavored vodka.

Last week, a female shark at the Coex Aquarium in Seoul, Korea

The late actress Bea Arthur gave us many wonderful things in her lifetime. Vera Charles. Maude Findlay. Dorthy Zpornak.

Yesterday, former New York Mayor and billionaire Michael Bloomberg announced he will not mount a third party bid for the White House.

Can you believe it’s only been eight weeks since Trump took office? That’s not even a full school marking period.

It is January 19, 2017. It is the last day of Barack Hussein Obama’s presidency.

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