Rebekah Kuschmider

This week in Batty State Lawmaker News, teens in Washington State lobbied for reproductive health services and, instead of respect, they got slut s

See, Brexit wasn’t anything light-hearted and fun. It was a referendum vote over whether Britain should remain a part of the European Union. It took place yesterday, and the people decided to split apart.

Do you know about skin cancer? Of course you do. It's not like it's a secret. Skin cancer is a very bad thing that can happen to anyone with skin. So if you're planning on tanning it up this year, easy solution: just don't.

We all know that menstrual periods are perfectly natural, and it’s the cycle of nature, and isn’t the reproductive system amazing, and blah blah bl

You all know what that means, right? Matching “Thank you for being a friend” t-shirts and “Picture it! Sicily, 1932!” tote bags for everyone! Wheeee! Oh, and cheesecake. So much cheesecake!

We will not be having our first woman president and I, for one, must grieve. A dream deferred.

So we have a new Justice on the Supreme Court.

In reality, we should be consulting with our own individual doctors about our own individual health statuses because giant studies don’t tell us diddly-squat about our own bodies (and neither do BMIs, for the most part).

And here I thought the best way to improve sexual performance was to be attentive to your partner and discuss what feels good and what feels even better. Silly sex-positive me.

Follow these tips and you will look well-rested, you will not have camel toe, your underwire won’t poke you in the armpit, your hair will smell nice, your knuckles might not crack in the cold weather, and you will have enough money leftover for icing and sprinkles for the next absurd elementary school party. Huzzah!