Rebekah Kuschmider

The Daily Mail did the hard work of tracking down prices for the various products Kylie has on her face — and ears — and the retail cost of using them would be $500.

Canna Vine is making this miraculous concoction that consists of organic marijuana and biodynamically farmed grapes. I don’t know what biodynamic farming is but it does sound very special and like it would result in good tasting wine.

I've spent most of today trying not to confront the news that a terrorist instigated an explosion outside a London concert by Ariana Grande last night. I’m trying hard not to know that 22 people have died and dozens more were injured. I’m trying not to realize that most of the people who attend such concerts are girls, young girls, and the parents who love them.

So, remember a couple weeks ago when President Trump lost his mind on Twitter and started

30% of girls who took purity pledges experienced pregnancy before marriage. To put that into perspective: only 18% of non-pledgers experienced pregnancy before marriage.

In a move that proves karma to be the Most Righteous of All Bitches, the makers of those “scandalous” Planned Parenthood videos have been brought up on charges in connection with their operation.

There’s nothing like a tropical getaway. The sun, the sand, the fruity umbrella drinks, the puppies.

Wait, what?

Trump has been increasingly infuriated over the Russia investigation overseen by Comey and his agency. He even screams at the TV when he sees reporting on it. That explains his idea of demanding cover for firing the FBI director.

The First Amendment of the Constitution guarantees every citizen the right to petition the government for redress of grievances. Notably, there are no instructions for exactly how to petition the government, and no limits on what kind of grievances for which citizens may seek redress. Which is why it’s totally constitutional and patriotic that a lady lit into Florida Governor Rick Scott in a Starbucks.

Caitlyn Jenner is returning to the airwaves (cable-waves? Digital streaming waves?) this weekend with the second season of a reality show documenting her life after coming out as transgender. The promos show clips filled with drama, laughter, and many, many outfits. Soooooo many outfits.